Being on vacation, I was still in bed at 9am when I received a phonecall from an unknown number. I could tell by the area code that it was local, but I didn't answer, because cool kids screen their calls. The caller left a voicemail. Vision still hazy, I listen to the message.

Within a few moments, I realize that the keystone component to my ongoing equation is complete, a full day earlier than expected. Such a relief. I hang up the phone and go back to sleep, smiling.

Thirty minutes later, my phone rings again. I fumble grabbing it from the nightstand, but can see that it is my boss. Attempting to answer, I accidentally hit 'ignore.' Feeling dumb, I attempt to return the call. Busy. A voicemail appears. I listen. Sounds urgent. Gah.

I redial the number. My boss answers.

"I hate to call you on vacation, but there's some news ..."

I gnash teeth a bit.

"your promotion is set to take place at the start of the year."

Shit yes. Epic news. I get all the details, thank her for the wonderful communique and hang up. I got a title change (senior level!), 20% more pay and get this -- my duties don't change. More cash for doing the same job I'm doing. Level up!

I haven't even started my day and things are indescribably awesome. Thusly, I throw some Analord on, shower and hit the pavement to Beavercreek, Or. My mission is to obtain the aforementioned keystone -- a custom made reel. The city was getting assaulted by rain and was subsequently jam-packed with angry holiday drivers. Brake Brake Gas Gas Gas Brake Honk Gas Honk. 30 infuriating minutes later, the sky opens up and traffic disappears as I enter a particularly scenic interstate. Perfect.

An hour later, I'm in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but gorgeous farmland and deserted pavement. Driving entirely too fast on a narrow (but well maintained!) road, I eventually locate the address and drive down a gravel driveway towards a small warehouse. Exiting the car, I knock on a windowless door and am let in promptly. Graciously greeted by three employees, I am presented with the View-master reel and a View-master to inspect the results. I hold it to my eyes, pointing it towards the skylight and am greeted with beautifully illuminated pictures. Again, perfect.

I thank the staff profusely. They were extremely accommodating and pleasant to deal with. Keystone in hand, I strut to my car and get the fuck out of dodge.

Spraypaint complete

The night prior, I had put the finishing touches on a related item -- a painting. Essentially, I wanted to do another canvas / stencil project with a View-master as the subject. Since View-masters are dependent on light, I thought I would incorporate a few strategically placed white LEDs, so that the painting could act as a nightlight as well.

I had planned on ordering all the parts online, but thankfully, I found an amazing cache of surplus parts at a local business. It's called Surplus Gizmos and completely delivers what it promises. It's a big warehouse of surplus electronic parts. Their website doesn't even begin to relay the sheer awesomeness of the place. After spending about 2 hours perusing their wares, I walked out with a supply of LEDs, resistors, some cool vintage switches, an old keyboard, two 9v power supplies and massive inspiration to build electronic things (guitar pedals, anyone?)

Anyway, I struggled with how to construct the painting. After destroying one canvas in the name of discovery and science, I discovered that the best way to incorperate the LEDs was to surface mount them to the canvas. Using a spacer, the reel would be elevated above the LEDs and the light would shine through the reel slides. I didn't want it to be readily apparent that there were LEDs in the painting when it wasn't on, so I had to be fairly crafty and work in a very small space. Using a tiny bit of Velcro, I could quickly change the reels as well, which is key.

Using my trusty Dremel, I punched a hole in the side of the canvas to accept the switch which would turn the lights on and off. Realizing that fingerprints would be an issue when using the switch, I realized a black border was necessary. Furthermore, I didn't want to require the painting to be plugged in, so I got some molex plugs and made the power source swappable -- you can plug in a 9v battery or plug it into the wall. After wiring everything up, I set the canvas aside, as I had stencils to cut.

The stencil itself was to be a four-layer / four-color dealie. The shapes were pretty simple, so unlike my last Xmas stencil, no heroic efforts or performance enhancing drugs were necessary in order to xacto it out. Once cut, I sprayed everything. I had already spent upwards of 15 hours researching and prepping the canvas, so each layer was sprayed with the utmost care. Botching things would have been unforgivable and probably required ritual seppuku or at least a self-inflicted uppercut to the junk. Thankfully, everything turned out. Much better than expected, even.

Two days before Christmas, I had the painting, a custom View-master reel, an 80s era View-master (thanks internet!) and my secret weapon -- I was all set.

Ms. Kim and I woke on Christmas Eve day at 5am PST. The plan was to be on the road at 6:30am. Due to some packing difficulties and a few pit stops, we got on I-5 at 7am to traverse the state of Oregon, back to our motherland. That morning, I absolutely conquered the freeway with Kim's 3 series BMW, making the trip in 4 hours (INCLUDING a 30 minute stop for gas / breakfast). My fastest time yet. Not that I was racing or anything ...

Christmas day started at 9am. My father was very proud of the fact that he had planted the Christmas tree by seed years ago. I will admit that it was glorious. We drank Irish coffee and took turns opening presents. I gave Kim the View-master painting equipped with a 1970s Busch Gardens reel. She squealed.

Among other wonderful gifts (Fender Blender!) I received, she gave me a vintage pachinko machine, which absolutely blew my socks off. From the late 70s, it's still perfectly functional and in supreme condition. It's completely mechanical, driven by gravity and all sorts of crazy levers and chutes and things. Indescribably rad.

Later that afternoon, we ventured out to Kim's mom's place. Before we left, I grabbed my bulky jacket and insisted that Kim bring something warm. We ate dinner among a strange mix of family and friends. We exchanged gifts and generally chatted about for a few hours. Eventually, it got dark and foggy, so we decided to jet. As we made the trek back home, I informed Kim that we would be heading to Ashland to grab a drink with the crew. She moaned about being tired. Perfect.

Eventually, we arrive in the deserted Ashland plaza around 9pm. I pull into a spot, put the car in park. I inform kim that suddenly, I don't feel like getting a drink. But since we drove all the way out here, we could at least take a quick walk around the park, since it was a bitter cold but gorgeously clear night. We held hands and walked to the Lithia Park bandshell, a place where years earlier, I had botched a first kiss and gotten horribly embarrassed.

We laughed as we walked around the bandshell. There was only one problem, the bandshell had no lighting -- it was quite dark. I assumed there would be some lights. I needed lights. Crap.

Improvising, I slowly start walking up the grass towards the fountain. It's winter and the fountain is drained, but there were numerous lights. One could say, in the light fog, that it was glowing.

We arrived after ascending some steps. Kim pranced around the edge of the fountain while I fumbled with my jacket. She did a twirl and walked around to my side and sat down. From my pocket, I produced a View-master loaded with my custom reel. Looking confused, she put it to her eyes. I watched her smile as she realized what the reel contained -- pictures of her and I, spanning our lengthy courtship. She clicked through them til the end. Looking up at me, she asked me how I did that.

I told her to pull the reel out and look at the label. As she looked down, deciphering the EFF + KRJ = ? equation, I produced my secret weapon -- a diamond motherfucking ring (thanks, bulky jacket!). When she looked back at me, I took a knee and attempted to ask if she would marry me. We both got a little tripped up in terms of communication, but it was readily apparent that she was accepting my offer. Perfect.

Back in October, I said that I might be finishing up the best couple months of my life. I was lying. I wasn't finishing them up, I was just getting started. Life is but a dream. I love you all.

ps -- 2010!