Summer has finally arrived. That makes me happy. Unfortunately, we do not automatically get central air-conditioning to keep the house at a comfortable temperature. That makes me a little sweaty, hot, and at times, grumpy.

My poor fluffy kitty has been spending most of his time lying as flat against the floor as possible, either in my room, in the bathroom, or in the basement. I thought I'd help him cool off a little by putting some water on him in an effort to penetrate that damn fur coat he insists on wearing. He did not seem to appreciate my gesture. I may get my eyes scratched out in my sleep as payback.

My computer is "running dangerously low on diskspace." Shitty. I keep saying I'll get an external hard drive to put all my pictures on, but I still haven't. I am having to empty out all the useless random temporary internet files and such almost daily. Dumb. (Also, my 'n' key fell off. I never realized how much I used that stupid thing until now. It's rather a pain in the ass.)

I went to a wedding on Thursday at the beach. It was fun, I looked cute, but while dancing our tails off, my toe got kicked, and while I didn't think anything of it at the time, I later realized that there was a significant amount of blood on my foot, a direct effect of getting half my big toe nail ripped off. Gag. Puke. Bleh. Good thing I was drunk, or else I would have been a lot more upset. Now I just need to hope it heals fast and doesn't interrupt my running. Because I'd be pissed....

Well, I think that's all for today. Just thought I'd give you a little insight to my current Mon-day.


always.....

I feel like the loneliest person in the world today but I know that I'm not. I just wonder who the loneliest person in the world might be. I think it might be this girl I used to work with at the Varsity named Avalon who has serious mental issues and lives at the "felony flats" alone until her parents tell her she has to do something, like clean her room or something (shes in her mid-30's). She used to talk to me at work and i hated it because it made me feel bad all the time, and her gums would always be bleeding all over her teeth...

Oh hey there!
Remember me?

So, Ive been sitting by myself in my room a lot lately, so I figured maybe I should start posting on this site again.
I have no idea when the last time I posted was, but looking through old postings made me miss being so passionate about myself instead of feeling strangely indifferent regarding the whole matter. I dont know what happened but somewhere along the way I got bored with myself and have been feeling like shit ever since.

So here is my attempt to get back in touch with that old buddy.

Quick update on me:
I just finished up working on the films WANTED and TROPIC THUNDER. I am now "between jobs". Having lots of time would usually be quite welcomed by me except in Los Angeles I dont have any friends. At least not the kind that are called friends everywhere else in the world. So Ive basically been sitting in my room a lot, playing way too much GTA 4 (but not getting anywhere in it). And 5 minutes ago, I officially decided that turning 21 is the worst thing that can happen to someone. Or at least its the worst thing that ever happened to me. There has not been much excitement in my life since.

With all the strong urges I have now adays to be a responsible adult, I have an equally as strong feeling to be a ridiculous crazy. These feelings get fed in increasingly strange ways. The responsible half makes it so I cant actually enjoy time off from working cuz I feel like I should be doing something constructive, and I have started to get a nagging feeling of paranoia that people dont like me and that something is gonna fuck my life up in a major way out of nowhere. As I remember, I used to relish when those things would happen. But the crazy half peaks its head out when I drink now, but in inappropriate ways. Examples would be making a girl cry who I had met only a few minutes prior at the Hong Kong Bar last week. Or telling the guy that works at the 7-11 in Ashland that he was a piece of shit. Or sending a fucked up 6 page text message to Eli, one night in Portland. Doing Cocaine with Reed, and even though it was lame, still being up to do it whenever it comes my way again. Or just spending all my time in my room, to where my roommates think I hate them. But I only half hate them. Ive always been a depressive type, but Ive never taken out on other people before. And I dont feel depressed. I dont like this new side of me. I fear Los Angeles has started to rub off on me. I also fear I am becoming my father, which is a cliche. And that pisses me off too.

I have been missing working at a minimum wage job lately.

I also have not kissed a girl in over a year (I think, but I might have forgotten about something here or there. Well, the girl I made cry at the Hong Kong ended up kissing me on the mouth, but that doesnt count because I'm 99% sure shes batshit crazy. Plus who knows where else those lips have been).

I still have not met anyone down here that I feel like I can relate to at ALL. Not even people I can talk about movies with, because no one knows anything about movies, AND I FUCKING WORK IN THE MOVIE INDUSTRY. I am willing to admit though, it all could do with the fact that it doesnt seem like I like people as much as I used to. In fact it seems like I hate most of them.

Anyway, you are up to date now.



So, I believe I mentioned the Aussie gal I have struck up a relationship with in like my last post. Well, for internet things, I guess things are as serious as possible. We usually talk a few hours a day, and is often my only stimulus from the outside world. Thank christ for technology and skype in particular. We get along great and both think each other is great. I am going to visit/meet her in November. I have to say I am really excited. I am going to be there for almost 3 weeks. I wanted to ride around in a kangaroo pouch until she explained to me that they are pretty much like the insides of vaginas in there. That doesnt sound too pleasant. The plan is that she is gonna then come here in March for a long visit and then, Visa permitting, maybe even move here. Then I'll have someone I can watch David Lynch movies and whatever other crazy shit I like to watch with. I bet we will get to hold hands too. I already warned her I was gonna be touching her butt (or as she calls it, bum) a lot.

Here are some albums Ive been digging lately:
Grails - Take Refuge in Clean Living
Martina Topley-Bird - The Blue God
Spiritualized - Songs in A&E
Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hereafter - Everything (Check her out if she is playing near you [possibly opening for EARTH], she is mesmerizing)
Geto Boys - Till Death Do Us Part
Girl Talk - Feed the Animals
The Melvins - Nude With Boots
Mason Jennings - In the Ever
Gnarles Barkley - The Odd Couple (Yeah thats right, and i even thought their first album was a piece of shit)
Famous L. Renfroe - Children
Dan Sartain - Everything
Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Lie Down in the Light
Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood - Nancy and Lee
Vincent Gallo - When

Thats it for now.

Love
Sledddddggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

I'm halfway there; Saturday was the Helvetia Half-Marathon. I ran the entire time, I finished in less than two and a half hours, and did not fall over and die afterwards. All things I am very happy with.

They say if you can run a half marathon then you can make it for a full. I have just over three months until the big day and 13 more miles to build up on top of my progress. It's sort of disturbing that when I look at my training schedule and see that next weekend we're running eight miles for the group run I shrug my shoulders and say "meh, only eight miles?" Only eight miles??? Three months ago I wanted to kill myself after five... now eight seems like no problem... Progress indeed.

Other than that, I work. I run. That's about it. I've been to one wedding, have two left to attend this summer (that I know of). Have finally managed to find some closure with the sticky ex situation. It's refreshing, really.

Have been able to say for the first time in quite some time that I am happy. I like this.

However, I do not like the fact that it's mid-June and there is still no sign of legitimate summertime. No trips to the river, no camping, no warm summer nights.... I just want effing summer, for the love of God. Even though I know it will make this big old house a giant sweat box, I still want it. If you see summer, send it our way. We're hurting for it.