There was a day, about 18 (!) years ago, when wrestlers could lick little kids faces.

Today was the longest day ever. I got up at 4am to help with a project deployment. It was supposed to be quick, but it turned out to be not so quick. Thusly, most of my day was spent on a conference call. After that mess was over, a bunch of us went on a work-related party. We bowled and drank beerz. I got 132. I realized that I really only require one game of bowling every three months. That's my quota.

Last weekend, Ms. Kim and I traveled down to McMinville to czech out the museum. I give it a B-. The planes were cool, but the overall vibe was very strange. There were a lot of old war vet volunteers, just sitting by the planes. I didn't really want to hear them talk, but there's really no way to say 'shut the fuck up' to a smiling war vet. Terrorists don't even hate our freedom that much.

Anyway, here are some highlights:

Quite easily one of the most out there movie ideas I've ever come across... Not entirely sure if I"ll be jumping in line to see this one....

WOW, it has been a long time. So much has happened in the last six months, it rediculose. So instead of writing a long winded story about the boring details of my life...im am doing a recap of '07 (it fucking 2008 already, FUCK)

The first couple of of months of 07 were obviosly uninteresting because i dont recall anthing worth writing home about. So we skip to my 24th, which was spent in portland and it was no disapointment. awesome times with awesome friends...booze, babes, boobs, and ending with me getting one of the worst mohawks you have ever seen. GREAT. Coachella is the next big thing. this year was amazing. Catching a ride down with some friends i know from the valley we spend the first night in santa cruz. Went to a bar called the red light (i think) which was rad except for the bartender who gave some shit for ordering a black butte porter instead of some hippy porter she likes, then gave me the "are you serious" kind of look when i tried to order a bottle of pabst. We're not in oregon anymore todo. next day we get through La La Land and get to josh's mom's house right outside of Indio. Meet up with beanie and have an amazing time for the next three days (see beanies post for details).  The rest of my times in LA were awesome. Saw some dudes from high school, fell in love with the hottest asian chich at a gay bar, almost made out with a german chick (friend of one that beanie hooked up with) and sang karaoke with david from the real world. "We built this city on rockin roll", fuck yeah. 

    Flew back to oregon...a month later got my first serious girlfriend, Megan. Her birthday was in May and we hooked up for the fisrt time on mothers day a week or so later...hahahhah. Flash forward to a month later than that to THE hightlight of '07. I lost my virginity. Its about fucking time. A little more than you wanted to know i don't doubt but god damn is sex awesome. Fuck I wish I was still getting it...anyways. So that brings us up to a vague and quick recollection of the first six months of my '07.  More to come in the next couple of days, maybe a week.

love you all, Wispy

Also, today was my department's belated 'holiday' party. It was on a boat and turned out to be pretty fun. The music, however, blew my mind. Volume so low, it was almost subliminal. Anyway, here's what I recall of it:

1 -- the indigo girls: galileo
2 -- lynrd skynrd: sweet home alabama
3 -- marvin gay and tammi terrell : ain't no mountain (twice, back to back)
4 -- steve miller: space cowboy (twice, back to back)
5 -- bill withers - lean on me*
6 -- jimmy buffett -- margaritaville (twice, back to back)

Very strange, weak selection for the event.

Towards the end, my boss's boss's boss got up to give a little thank you speech. It was kind and full of praise. As she dove into the most sincere part of her speech, the song ended and switched. The next song on the playlist was Tom Petty's "Freefallin'", which set a victorious, cinematic soundscape for the speech. Unbelievable timing. It was fucking hillarious -- trust me.

2008. Fuck. That's halfway to 4016. Imagine what life is going to be like then. I have my money on Waterworld. Hopefully we won't have to drink our own pee* though.

First off, Kim's cousin, Gina came to visit a few days before Christmas. A 4 day trip, this 14 year old girl continually cracked me up. I haven't spent any decent amount of time around a teenager, well, since I was a teenager. She was naive and insure in an honest way -- it really makes me wonder what I was like at that age. Actually, I remember exactly what I was like at that age -- doing anything in my power to finagle some girl into making out with me. Sad, really. Anyway, her flight took off on Christmas Eve night and Kim had to stick around to see her off. After sticking the teen on her plane, Kim hoped on her own.

A week before the trip, I ensured that I had procured a new subwoofer in my car. For the record -- I'm not into making sure you also hear my bass, at .75 miles away, I just enjoy having a nice aftermarket system with a solid low-end. Blah. Anyway, the 10" JL I had in my trunk died suddenly (while listening to the Talking Heads, for the record.) I found a guy on craigslist who was selling a nice 12" JL and sealed enclosure for a decent price. It's always a bit awkward to intersect your life with a random person for a brief amount of time, well, at least enough to complete a transaction.

The subwoofer guy, he was in his early thirties with a thick Spanish accent. He drove an Escalade, but his townhouse was totally unfurnished, save a giant TV. He kept trying to hype the speaker up. I knew what I was looking at and didn't really need to hear "the bass -- it's just so ... clean" spiel he gave probably 5 times during the exchange.

Anyway, I pay for the thing, shake his hand and get in the car. As I'm about to drive off, he runs back to my car and taps on my window. I roll it down. In his thick accent, he says: "Your probably gonna' hear notes you've never heard before." Imagine if Tony Montana was delivering the line. Classic.

For the record, it sounds wonderful. No new notes, but a tight sub-75Hz.

Equipped, I drove back home the night before Christmas while rocking out to some badass mixes by Sledg (I'll post them if anyone is interested). I crashed early and spent Christmas eve day wrapping presents and communing with my parents. When Kim's flight came in, I was at the airport to pick her up. We stop by her mother's house before making our way to my homestead. The rest of the night was spent in parental conversation over tequilla.

Christmas day was wonderful. We opened up our gifts (I made out like a viking!) and ate some nice breakfast. Kim and I then took the renegade[1] out to celebrate Jesus' birthday. He is the reason for the season, you know. We tore around the fields and threw lots of mud around, giggling like little bitches the whole time. Then we shot guns. It's so sexy when Kim brandishes a pistol...

[1] -- "The Renegade" -- a machine built by my father for farm work and general mischief. A 1986 Subaru GL hatchback with the rear-half removed, welded shit and turned into a flatbed. The rear window has a gunrack. Coffee-cans with speakers are strapped behind the seats, hooked up to a tape-deck with Neil Young's WELD stuck inside. The low 4x4 can climb a tree.

In terms of gifts, I decided to get Kim a laptop. I should have gotten her a nice new laptop, but I got her the computer I would have purchased to use myself -- an IBM thinkpad t23. It's a brick-shithouse. Plus, it's got more than enough power for the girl. It's a sexy little machine. Solid.

I also made a painting for her. My most ambitious stencil work to date. Got sprayed on a 12"x24" canvas. Pink. It's probably the fruitiest thing I've ever created, but my girl secretly still likes unicorns (but not horses -- she fucking hates horses). It's also kind of tounge in cheek. Stencil drawing is below. Took me ages to cut out, despite me being a master extacto-fu. It turned out really nice.

Ms. Kim had to catch a ride back to the Portland area with a friend on account of her work schedule. I stuck around for one more day and hung out with the parents. I spent much of the morning in the shop with the old man, fashioning a box for the trunk of my car. It holds my jack, my tools, and ensures that they wont be sliding around all wishy-washy. It looks and functions real nice. Fascinating, I know.

The drive back was horrible. Snow covered the first half and a torrential downpour blanketed the second. 5 hours of full-on, white-knuckle driving. I make it 272 miles back -- the place in the journey where I exit Interstate 5. The "Home Stretch," as they say.

Anatomy of Eric's almost-car-crash:

Time: 7pm
Weather: really really really really wet.
Visibility: Limited.
Music: Relationship of Command (LOUDLY).

I'm traveling in the right lane, which is clear for the next mile or so. The lane in the left is stopped, since it is a merge lane with the interstate. I'm clipping along at 45mph, glad to be back in Portlandish area.

Jerkdick decides he's going to hit his blinker at the same moment he cranks his wheels and starts accelerating into my lane. This happens in a jiffy, which is exactly 1/60th of a second.

I cock my wheel and hit the breaks. There is a lot of water of the roads. I lose traction and slide, at an angle, across the line. The black bar in the picture is a concrete wall in real life. For a moment, I was totally out of control of my vehicle. Withing a snap, my wheels catch traction and I swerve back into the lane. How I did not hit their car or the wall is a fucking miracle. It was an amazingly narrow path. I would like to thank the plastic 'Our Lady of Guadalupe' figurine I purchased from a $0.25 vending machine. Ay dios mio!

I slept it off, saying prayers to the patron saint of car accidents. I then spent the next 4 days either doting on my lady (ie: working bugs out of her laptop) or teaching myself Flex.

Flex is amazingly effective. It's not the right tool for every web-app, but dang, it's so damn slick. It also looks the same in every flash-compatible browser, which is so nice, coming from the wicked world of HTML/ CSS rendering issues. I'm redoing my current gallery with it. It's in progress but I'll post a link when I'm done.

New Years was spent with the woman. I drank Tequilla, which I didn't really regret in the morning -- not *too* much. Also, Dick Clark needs to stop. Please, Dick, stop.

I love you all.