this weekend i got some of the best compliments ever.

the first came thursday night from my friend ashley on our way to taco bell (on burnside!) after leaving the bar:

you know, debbie, i think you would make an excellent trophy wife. yes, i definitely think you'd be great at it.

she meant it as a compliment. some people might take that differently, but to me... it was a fabulous compliment.

on a sidenote, i've decided that in order to meet this rich man who i will marry and make a great trophy wife for, i must learn to play golf. that way i can go spend time at the golf course, where i am much more likely to meet said rich man. ha! it's brilliant.

the second one came on friday night. my friend crystal is going to be moving to germany for a year to work. crystal is also from the rogue valley, but a total hick. she wanted to go to duke's on friday (cowboy bar) in order to have one last good cowboy time before leaving the states. i agreed to go because crystal is my friend and her happiness is important to me. i certainly didn't do much dancing or interacting period, but i sat and observed a lot.

sidenote: i had no idea there were so many different line dances, nor did i realize some of them are actually kinda cute! and country couple dancing... sort of a slowed down, drawled out twist on a lot of latin dancing! who knew?


so as i'm sitting there, smoking a cigarette and drinking my vodka, a man walks up to me and strikes up conversation. about what, i really don't remember; it was pretty uninteresting. but towards the end of the conversation he looks at me and laughs, then says:

you know, you really don't belong here. you just seem a bit too classy for this sort of place.

thank god i didn't look like i belonged there... it made me almost as happy as the trophy wife compliment....

tomorrow a bunch of us from work are going to spend the day at the beach in time to come home, shower, change, then head to work at the gap. hoo-frickin'-ray. i love the gap. i love eight hour days on the weekends at the gap. bleh. but the beach should be fun.

note to self: must remember: am very very white, do not forget sunscreen or get crazy ideas that i am not in need of it.


always.....

Before...

During...

Danzig?...

Ready to fucking rock...

I'd like to thank Mila for making it possible for my four year old to have such a kick ass mohawk... and Luke for providing the clippers.

It's over. I have finished up my stint as an OSU student and promptly moved on. I am now living in the cutest house imaginable with two wonderful people in a wonderful part of portland. But I'll get to that later.

Miss Kim came to visit me in Corvallis on the Friday before graduation. We hung out, drank lots of vodka and generally had a good time. The parents showed up on Saturday for my big graudation thing. I donned my cap and gown and looked like an uber-dork for a few hours. People kept telling me I should be proud, but I was just wishing that I had brought some water -- those black gowns are the equivalent of wrapping yourself in a down-comforter for a nice nap in the sun. Weak.

They mispronouced my name at the ceremony (see also: Eric Fayner), but it was all good, as noone ever gets it right. Not even my close friends. Those fuckers.

Ian, sad because he hadn't checked his myspace for 30 minutes.

For no reason, an image of the road to my house. My parents live up in them thar hills.

After the graduation, I went home for a few days and took it easy, for the most part. I got a tune-up on the Exploder and spent almost every waking moment with my wonderful woman. I caught up with a bunch of friends, but my time was brief and I find myself wishing I had spent a few more days in town.

Real-life Tetris in the back of my ride

After a few days of rest, I returned to Corvallis for a fit of feverish packing and moving. I managed to transport everything I own in the 'Splorer in a mere two trips, although shit was stacked like Tetris on the second load. I'm a master of organization and stacking, which I attribute to my father and my extended Gameboy-tetris sessions. Even as a child, 200 lines was nothing for me.

I turned this

into this.

I hate packing. So very much. I alwas tend to start out being super-organized, but always resort to random-box filling when it becomes less-obvious where things should go. It makes it a little more interesting to unpack, however, since I never label my boxes. The big box? Oh, it could be clothes, books, flatware or a massive collection of pornography. Kidding.

HOW CUTE!

The house is magical, albeit a bit hot. Today tipped the scales at 105F according to the thermometer out back. I layed in the sun today, trying to catch somewhat of a tan and read Pattern Recognition by Willy Gibson. I've been trying to get through it for ages. Not that it isn't a great book, I've just been distracted.

My room

Anyway, back to the house. It's old, but it's been remodled. It's got hardwood floors, area rugs and the cute carpet-in-the-middle on the stairs. As I said before, I am living with two wonderful folks and perhaps a fourth in a little bit, but that remains to be seen.

I start work tomorrow for the same boss, working on the same team I did last summer, but I get my own cube this time. NEAT! That place is amazing, I really do hope things work out. Say a prayer for me, I have a few student loans to repay.

It's really strange to know that I won't be going back to OSU any time soon. I don't really think that the full-shock has hit me yet, but I must admit, it is nice not having anything on my plate. I fell a little bit lost without any homework, which is nothing short of pathetic.

im sure everyone has aready heard this, but if you havent... listen to it through head phones and let me know what you think...

http://www.snoopy.force9.co.uk/10000_Days_Secret_Megamix.mp3 

there is jumbled parts... maybe needs a better mix. i tried on audacity but to no avail. im not that handy so i found a link

so this past year has been hellacious. but the past month has been even worse. my son's father has been accepted into the nursing program and in order to afford it he needs to claim our son to get aid. since we're not together this means i can't claim him and thus i get to take an unwanted break from school. yip-ee. so now i'm looking for a job. anyone need a pharmacy technician?? the straw that broke it all happened about a week ago when my boyfriend of three years left me. this is the first time i have ever been dumped (for lack of a euphemism)...

 

...lets just say that i'm not taking it well, not only is my ego bruised my heart is broken. i guess ill survive somehow, hopefully, maybe.

Download the free Robotic Empire Sampler CD. Including a savage track from Red Sparowes. Bitchin'.

Battle of the Bands 2006

I wish I could find more time and motivation to post, as this is a pretty monumental period in my life -- I picked up my cap and gown last Friday.

A week before that, however, school was on the back burner. Twas the glorious two-day period that has emerged over the last few years: Battle of the Bands and The Roots, Rock, Reggae Fest (formerly known as the World Music Festival [which was an 'improvement' on The Free World Music Festival moniker.]) Friday night, hordes of drunk people pillaged the MU quad to watch the highly-entertaining (seriously) bands that I had helped decide upon. Acting as a judge, it was a pretty rad festival. Drunk off poor-man greyhounds (Vodka and Squirt -- represent), I sat above the crowd watching the festivities. It was probably like 1/45th kinghood. Some people didn't like our pick for #1, but fuck 'em, the band we picked was duderad. For serious.

The following night was spent with ex-Beaverton-roommate Paul (aka. Mr. "dude, books are gay") at the tail end of the R^3 Festival with more brew than we knew what to do with. A nice way to round out a stressful and exhausting term. Seriously, stay the crap away from Numerical Analysis. I still pulled an A, but hot damn, that was some crazy shit.

On a side note, I would like to hereby legally and formally announce my 'Intellectual Property' rights on the two following items, both of which were conceived in love-oven of my luscious, beautiful brain:

Item 1: Artificial pubic hair
Description: Artificial pubic hair, manufactured using space-age polymers that can perfectly recreate the texture and glisten of pubic hair can be used in a number of both medical and merrymaking markets. Firstly, prosthetic pubic wigs, commonly known as a 'merkin' can now be made without costly donor screening or the threat of lice-infestation. Glorious. It also has much value in the 'prankster / jokester' demographic (commonly referred to as 'assholes'). Fake pubic hair can be a pranksters dream. sprinkled liberally (I plan to sell it by the pound) on a toilet seat will almost certainly result in a boatload of laughter. For maximized enjoyment, liberally apply fake pubic hair to: soap, soup, ice-cream, sandwiches, purses, bedsheets, shower drains, graduation gifts and so forth. Miraculous.
Conception date: When I was 9 and saw my first hair-clogged drain and again when I was 13 when I found a curly hair in a sandwich from the school cafeteria. I still cry about it sometimes, actually.

Item 2: PetriSoap.
Description: The soap itself is quite simple. It looks like a normal bar of soap, but thanks to my secret 'stabilization matrix' of lye and LA Looks gel, it is far from normal. The soap acts as a petri dish of nutrients to stimulate growth of bacteria while still creating a thick lather and a zesty fragrance. People will literally be bathing in their own filth, but at a much higher magnitude than normal. PetriSoap will be sold in bulk to the numerous prank manufacturers around the country. They will take these OEM soaps and repackage and sell them under their own distribution channels.
Conception date: Right now, I thought it would be lame to just have one.

Okay. That's done. I registered ericfeigner.com just the other day. I spent the last couple days intermittently redesigning my portfolio and writing a PHP script that will make my life a whole lot easier to update and change things. Good shit. <3 php. Come on y'all, let's go check out Eric Feigner's portfolio.

As far as websites are concerned, The Mixtape Collective is growing. We have 124 users and that number gets bigger every day. It's turning into a really fun community of people, with new blood entering a steady pace. I'm diggin' it. Corey and I have a lot to do on it, but it should be a nice time-killer now that I'm nearly out of school.

Out of school, that has a strange ring to it. On the topic of employment, I went up to Nike last week to get all my paperwork in order and meet with my manager. Twas a good trip. I got my ID picture retaken, but again, I have the most silly looking smirk ever. Curses. My first day is on June 26th.

But before I can get my shit together and move up to Portlandtown to live with the wonderful Neal and Hollye, I must first graduate. As I mentioned before, I picked up my cap and gown AND my honor chord. I'll admit it, I'm actually quite proud of myself.

Graduation is Saturday, but I'm going to be honest, I'm way more excited for Ms. Kim to come visit on Friday. Truly.

I love you all.

Ive started saying something to people since Ive been back in this turd hole of a town, in place of "Seeya later""Bye Bye""Goodbye", etc. I now leave people with "Seeya on MYSPACE!" Seriously, I guess it could be every where else too, but, this town is redficulously over run by myspacers. All of whom have looked at my profile. If I have one more person who I haven't met, walk up to me and greet me as if we know each other, "HEY I.B. Bangin'!", Im gonna give them the poison eye. Anyhow......

It's been awhile. I have been quite busy. Ive been slangi'n pizzas and getting wasted everyday. Thats about it really. Ive become so prolific, in the short time ive been here, that there are already rumors flying around town about me. Ashland = Myspace = High School.

So Friday:
Worked at Giseppi's untill 8pm. Got off, and went to Wispy's House. Before I got there however, I stopped at the 7-11 to buy Pabst and see myspace friend Tim, who I didnt even say anything to. Get to Wispy's, and he gets home from drinking 40's at the HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION. We listen to Big Business , drink PBR, and play W.O.R.M.S.. We then get dressed up to go to a "Barn Party", which is in a house. We stumble over there at about 10pm. We find two kegs waiting for us and about 15 people at the party. We drink lots of Beers and get rediculously slobbery. At midnight we (Plus Rabbo) decide to head downtown to buy MC STAINS some 21st birthday drinks. Two girls from the party want to go also. As we are walking the few blocks to downtown, they both decide that they are cold and they want to wear part of my huge ass horse-blanket-made-into-ghetto-poncho. As there are two women on both sides, in very close proximity, and me being the slobbery drunk that I am. I put both my arms around them and walk through downtown like the pimp that I am. We get to the Creek, see Tallon, go inside talk to Jordan. Get more wasted, and I walk up to the bathroom. Im waiting in line at the mens room when this guy turns towards me. Here is our exchange:

Guy"HEY!!"
IB BANGIN "Uh, hey."
G "I saw you walking through town just now!"
I "Uh, yeah, probably like, a half hour ago or so?"
G "Yeah MAN! And you had these two hot ladies in your arms!"
I "Oh uh yeah. Umm they are down at the bar if you want to talk to them."
G "OH MAN, You're AAAAWESOME!"

Then I went to the bathroom. I was afraid he was going to try to suck my cock or something, so I propped my foot against the door as I went piss and held my pancho up. We then split, and walk back to the party. All that is pretty much left is Irish Pat, Elizabeth, Tiffany, Tara, Jenna, Sarah, a few unknown people, and Aaron Boyer (who might be the last one in Ash-Town without myspace). We did keg stands and talked tomfoolery.

We pass out at about 5:30am. I wake up at about 7am to sharing a bed with Tiffany, Pat, and 3 dogs. Pat has got his arms around me. Tiff has her arms around me. A little Jack Russel is sleeping on my junk under the covers, and there are two big dogs at the foot of the bed. There is also a futon in this room where there was a couple. And they were full on getting it on. I felt like I was in a PSA or something. You know the ones that over exagerate all houses where people are drinking or smoking weed into crack houses. Yep. I fell back to sleep. We awoke at nine am on Sat. morning to the FEDEX man dropping off a package. We open it to find two cow costumes. Of course me and Pat put them on and drank more beer. These were the kind of cow suits that even include udders. Pat found a skate board in the front yard and decided to glide up and down the street drinking beer, playing his guitar, in the cow suit, waving at cars. I had my hero for the week. Being wasted at 9am is weird.

so i really am trying to find a job. really, i am. not necessarily a real job, but a job. i have an interview on monday at one of the many starbucks in the area. yeah, i'd be ok with that.

my life as of now is pretty great. i mean, aside from the definite lack of income, which sort of sucks, i am pretty much living the life of a suburban housewife. i get up in the morning, go running, make my regular stop at starbucks, come home, shower, then determine if i need to go to the store to get anything for dinner. if i do, i then head out to run whatever errands may need running; if i don't, then i either do paperwork/pay bills/fill out apps/etc, or i watch a movie. or both at the same time.

i've watched a lot of movies lately.

then i start dinner so that my roommates have dinner ready when they get home.

i've been baking a lot, too. the other day it was cookies, and today i made my first lemon meringue pie ever. it looks good, don't know if it'll taste good. i personally don't like pie, so i won't be able to tell you, but i'm sure i'll get accurate feedback from the boys.

a month or so ago i had dinner over at one of my prof's houses with his wife, another prof, and my friend caine. we had a blast, and yesterday i decided to drop off a (fashionably late) thank you note. britney (his wife) was there so we sat at the kitchen table, drinking iced tea and chatting, trading recipes and whatnot. dear god, i'm hanging out with other suburban hosuewives. i should be worried.

but really, i'm not. i'm kinda loving it, actually. now all i need is find someone to marry who comes with a much larger budget to play with, and i'm a happy camper. or housewife. i mean, i get the whole house to myself all day, i can listen to what i want, watch what i want, dance around in my underwear singing showtunes while i clean if i want.... what's not to love about this?

ladies and gentlemen, i might have found my career of choice....


always.....