I am powerless without the internets. My motivation for doing anything internet related has dropped. It takes me about 15 minutes just to log into GMail. Life without highspeed access is fucking hard. I also don't get any cellphone service at my parent's house (see: out in the fucking boonies). That also sucks. Bad.

This Christmas was pretty perfect. The actual day was spent kicking around the house with my parents. It was pretty low key. I built them a rad new computer. I gave them a little mini-tutorial on iTunes and my mom is burning CDs like crazy. I think she spent like 4 or 5 hours importing music onto this beast.

I also got a really bitching 19" LCD monitor. Nearly orgasm worthy.

Sledg / een / bean / ian has come and gone yet again. I didn't spend as much time with him as I would have liked, but the time we did spend together was pretty superb.

This break has been pretty crazy -- Kim is back. I'm still a bit untrusting, but I just seem to lose control when it comes to that girl. On the plus side, she does seem a whole lot more stable than she's ever been. Oh well, you only live once, right?

Anyway, it has stopped raining for a moment -- time for me to get my afternoon run in. Holler!

I love you all.

// READ COMPLETE POST

Rediscovering a long-forgotten smile, I wish you all the best.

i love the rogue valley. seriously, i love everything about this place, including, but not limited to, the fact that you can't go out without running into people you know. or running into people that you only know through a random website used for self-disclosure, having never actually met them face to face, but recognizing them because of their picture in the staff section.

i'm sure een never heard this line before:

"this may sound weird, but are you ian?"
"um, yes, why?"
"hi, i'm curlingiron."

and the night went on from there. most definitely a surreal moment in the life of me, sitting and having a beer with whispy, een, eli, bearded jon, val, and ashley.... oh eric, why were you not there to complete the picture? apparently i just missed you... copious amounts of alcohol were consumed last night. i'm hurting today. but it was well worth it.

hopefully more good nights will follow.


always.....

I got shitfaced last night. i met curlingiron! and i ate shit on the way home(not literally, i fell real good). so now i am about to leave to salem, hung over as fuck. all i wanted to do this morning is stay in my bed for about 8 more hours. its going to take more money in coffee than gas to get me up there. ........yeah so last night i was on the phone with someone and walkin down the sidewalk going towards my house when all of the sudden i tripped and ate shit, i was wearing my white ashland football swaeter too. now its not all white. FUCK HANGOVERS! 

ps i appoligize now for all who ran into me last night, i dont remember.

I got shitfaced last night. i met curlingiron! and i ate shit on the way home(not literally, i fell real good). so now i am about to leave to salem, hung over as fuck. all i wanted to do this morning is stay in my bed for about 8 more hours. its going to take more money in coffee than gas to get me up there. ........yeah so last night i was on the phone with someone and walkin down the sidewalk going towards my house when all of the sudden i tripped and ate shit, i was wearing my white ashland football swaeter too. now its not all white. FUCK HANGOVERS!

The past week or so have been pretty good. I started working again for the first time for 3 months. its pretty nice making money again and being able to pay for shit. I also moved into a new place this week. im out of my parents house! even though it really isn't all that bad having free rent and a home cooked meal everynight, but its also nice haveing my own space. earlier this week i bought Gran Tourismo 4. This is an amazing game. amazing grafix, super realistic, and an amazing amount of cars to buy. i highly reccomend this game, i am already addicted.  

Tonight a bunch of my family came over for a X-mas dinner, everybody's drinkin and having a good time and talking about things you never want to hear come out your parents or relatives mouth. so im here posting. my dad lit off a few fireworks and now everybody is feverishly looking for a lost scared ass dog. these weren't normal fireworks, these are minature fireworks you see on 4th of july, ones that shoot out of a 2 in. diameter tube and sound like a shotgun going off. pretty rad. anyways now its time for desert so im out.

had a weekend. that's it, it was just a weekend. the boys had a party out at there place, and my roommates and i decided to drop by, say hello and all that jazz before we went to the bar. it was... interesting. a whole lot of the old crew was there, from back when i was a freshman, and they still talk the same way, still act the same way, still interact with one another the same way... it almost made me sad. it was a little awkward for awhile, as there was some tension between myself the boy. there's nothing really going on between us, just a "thing". don't ask me to define "thing" because i can't. neither can he. hmm...

left there to go to the doug fir with my roommates. that was good times, although we were all pretty much pooped from long weeks, so we didn't stay out much later.

yesterday brought that damn snow storm, which messed up our plans to go to the ballet last night. i'm a little bitter about that, but i suppose i'll live. then my roommate's co-workers came over for their christmas party, and we all drank our little hearts out. a lovely sunday, to say the least, although disappointing that both 'desperate housewives' and 'grey's anatomy' were reruns. damnit.

and then TODAY.... oh lordie, today i got a letter in the mail. from my freshman year roommate. the one who is in prison now. YES. that one. she sounds good, the letter seemed pretty upbeat and positive. my friend caine and i are going to go visit her sometime in january, which should be interesting. we shall see how that goes.

for now, finish packing because i head home tomorrow (weather permitting) and then death cab concert tonight. rockin' good times, for sure.


always.....

I have not posted for awhile, and started to feel slightly guilty, so I will give you a quick haiku rundown of my life at this point:



I really miss my broadband internet. And my cell-phone service.

Well its frozen here in portland, and everything is all fucked up. I biffed it hard on my walk to work. My headphones flew off of my head and everything. Here are some observations I made today:

1. Only corporate chains (7-11, Safeway, McDonalds, Starbucks, Regal Cinemas, etc.) and hotels stay open when no one can walk anywhere or drive anywhere.

2. People in cars will laugh at you when you fall down on your way to work, but they don't laugh when their car slides backwards into the car behind them.

3. Everyone at your job will use the frozen ice covering everything as an excuse as to why they can't do their job properly.

4. Businesses that play music on speakers outside of their doors apperantly choose Tom Waits' "Blue Valentine" on occasions like this (I counted THREE[!!!] today). I think its to make people feel happier.

5. You can tell what movie people are going to see the moment they walk through the door. If it is a group of chicks, they're seeing Rent, guys all by themselves see JARHEAD, People with Emo haircuts who cant talk and bitch about the prices see FIRST DESCENT (Snowboarding movie), Families, asian people, and older couples see FAMILY STONE, and nerdy people see AEON FLUX.

6. FIRST DESCENT features the MINUS THE BEAR song "Michio's Death Drive", along with a bunch of Warp Tour/ Jack Johnson shit. It also features one of my favorite QOTSA songs, "Into the Fade".

7. People still risk crashing their car to come see shitty movies.

THE END!

remember back in the day when when your mom asked you "what do you want for christmas?" you responded with something that you wanted. a toy, a movie, a video game, whatever, you told your mom what it was that you wanted for christmas. now, when mom asks what you want for christmas, it's what you need for christmas. as much as i wanted to say "mom, i'd really like a new phone for christsmas" i had to say "mom, i really need you to help me with next month's car payment for christmas." damnit.

grades got posted. i managed to pull a c in the class i really thought i was going to fail (honestly, i had visions of an F dancing on my transcript), a pass, a b and an a-. there was that damn incomplete i had to take in my thesis class (apparently if you change your thesis topic four times and never actually produce those first three chapters, they don't consider that completing the class), but by the end of january i hope to have an actual grade there. preferably an a. we shall see. but, in spite of all that, i still managed to keep my gpa above a 3.0. just barely above, but above, nonetheless.

go me.

party tomorrow night, along with drinks at the doug fir, then the ballet on sunday, death cab concert monday, home tuesday. and booze. lots and lots of booze.

always.....

Well, I've been sure to live up this break from school. I've been getting drunk everynight. Tonight I'm going to a Karaoke bar with people from my work. It should be a GASSSSSSSS.

Besides drinking, I've been laying around playing NFL 2K1 on my DREAMCAST, and watching my brand new AEON FLUX and SIN CITY box setzzzzz. Every once in a while I yell at my cat Geoff.

I'm coming down to Vacuum Valley on the 21st so if you want to hang out with me, chances are I'll be downtown at some bar that hasn't been completely ruined since I left (Meaning O'ryan's, probably).

Today, I'm probably going to go see the Aeon Flux movie (low expectations), and maybe Jarhead (low expectations) also.

It's a simple life i lead.....

ISIS/JESU dvd

so today i haven't done anything productive. however i did find some awesome stuff. first was this rad ass knit sweater. its white with a big red stripe accross along with two smaller blue stripes. inside the big red one its reads ASHLAND FOOTBALL. i know it doesn't sound that cool, but i think its pretty awesome. the second thing is something for the kiddys todo at home. go to Google and type in "failure" and click the "im feeling lucky" button. and if you don't like our current presidnt you will find what comes up pretty damn funny.

ps. i just ate the best pear in the world, it was from harry and david...wow

The Black Keys

i would just like to state for the record how wonderful it was to wake up on this fine monday morning sans alarm clock or obligatory arrival time somewhere. granted, i have to work every night this week, but only phoning in the admissions office. i have the next two and a half weeks off from the gap, and the only places i have to be between now and christmas are the ballet, a concert, and the rogue valley. i'd almost forgotten what this feels like. me likee.

the roommates and i finally got to go out together on saturday night. did some prefunking, drove downtown and spent the night dancing our asses off at aura. most definitely my idea of a good time, until we had to wait in the taco bell drive-thru on burnside for a half an hour and the other three drunk kids in my car would not shut the fuck up. oh, but i love them. spent a good chunk of my night with amanda trying to get dane into bed. apparently the hallway and the bathroom floor were just more comfortable. ah yes, drunk times with the roomies. hopefully there will be many more nights like that during break.

on a sidenote, i would just like to confirm for anyone out there who has ever accused my roommates and i of being ridiculous, we are ridiculous. in addition to our pottery barn christmas tree (we're talking coordinating ornaments and colors) the gifts under the tree are a bit much. for those of you who dono't recognize those bags by color and design, let me lay it out for you: from left to right we have banana republic, coach, tiffany's, and another coach bag. by the end of the week there will be two more bags from tiffany's and perhaps even a bag from saks. pass judgment as you will. we are materialistic christmas at its best. and i am ok with that.

drinks when i'm in the valley, anyone? everyone? let's do it.


always.....

And on the first Sunday of the week of finals, Jebus did bestoweth an uncanny tipple-threat infestation upon the sharp-minded inhabitants of the profane Corvallis A-Frame.

I don't know what happened. All of a sudden there were ants. Everywhere. Cleaning up the sticky beer spots on the coffee table and entertainment center, I ponder the sleeping configurations of the vast army of ants that has taken over a good chunk of the house. An incredible fly-by night operation, I'll commend them on that. After a day of cutting off their food supply (messy roommate's unsanitary cooking devices), the are gone.

As I sigh with a feeling of accomplishment from conquering the impeding ant army, I notice something on the counter. Upon inspection, I did spyith with my little eye, a scattering of mouse droppings (see also: shit). In the corner of my vision, I saw a dark spot move quickly into the shadows. Shit. A Mouse. A Mouse in the house.

(EDITORS NOTE: Raffi is full of shit -- a mouse in the house is most definitely not a wacky, fun-filled event)

After capturing a grand total of three mice, I again, feel that warm sense of accomplishment from fending off three of nature's most voracious creatures. Only while going to dispose of the last mouse carcass do I see the mini shanty-town set up by bums in my garage.

Curse Jebus, there were bums in my garage. Their carts and everything. They even had a mattress, as can be seen from super-high-tech surveillance captures pictured above. Below you will find a reference photo containing my friend Jessie (aka: Splinter) passed out next to one of the homeless inhabitants of my garage earlier this year. Note the homeless man's obscured face in both pictures, a natural camouflage when being photographed. Such a mystery.

Only after disposing of their mattress and leaving a bartering bag of bottles (with a note attached saying "You're in my spot.") did the homeless men depart from our garage, leaving behind a scattering of prescription medicine bottles and pieces of scissored-up credit cards (see also: the smell of urine).

I have been smote.

Finals are over. Thank Jebus. Despite the fact that I've been hit with a mini-plague, I still hold a ton of respect for the guy. I got rocked pretty hard. I think I might get a B in one of my classes. I'm not even joking when I say that I'm disappointed.

The term ended up nicely with a few days of rest before the barage of finals, but until that point (see: deadweek), it was hellish. Between homework, projects and work, it was pretty terrible. I'll be glad to put this behind me.

I'm looking forward to getting back home. I have nothing on the books for the next four weeks. Wonderful. I believe I shall read a lot, program a lot and perhaps start running (my legs are going to mush from rain-induced lack of skating). It might be the last time I'll be home for that length of time. It's kind of sad -- because it still feels like home.

I got a text message from a long lost ex today. Put me in a weird space.

One thing I'm not looking forward to: the fucking drive home. In the past 5 years, the strech of road between Talent and Corvallis has mocked my attempts to return home. I could drive it with my eyes shut but it just becomes more and more painful each time I drive it.

I'll survive. With a healthy dose of Big Business and Ben Kweller. And maybe Ben Folds. Who the fuck knows.

I love you all.

A poorly-designed-yet-still-functional display of the downward spiral of Louis Wain.

The miraculous story of the failed abortion. How confused must this man be?

I don't even like soccer, but this is amazing. It's the Nike shoes. They totally have magic built into the soles now.

Scientology is fucked up. Fucked up bad. On par with Sledg's version of The Aristocrats...

I am so fucking sick of this damned stupid body I have. I need a better one.

The Emancipation Proclamation on sale thru e-bay.

I had a wet dream about something like this once. Batman and Robocop and Jason as seen through the eyes of an amateur filmmaker.

Remix albums are always something that I am skeptical of, but the people on Beck's remix album ar too good to pass up:

1. Ghost Range (E-Pro) [Homelife]
2. Que Onda Guero [Islands]
3. Girl [Octet]
4. Heaven Hammer (Missing) [Air]
5. Shake Shake Tambourine (Black Tambourine) [Adrock]
6. Terremoto Tempo (Earthquake Weather) [Mario C]
7. Gettochip Malfunction (Hell Yes) 8Bit]
8. Broken Drum [Boards of Canada]
9. Scarecrow [el-P]
10. Wish Coin [Diplo]
11. Farewell Ride [Subtle]
12. Rental Car [John King]
13. Emergency Exit [Th'corn Gangg]
14. Clap Hands

I think it should be known (to people who dont already know) that Islands and Th' corn Gangg are bands featuring dudes from THE UNICORNS.

Good night

I've been house sitting the past two days at a house that has a satelitte TV unit. I gave in this morining to the temptress box and found this movie that changed my life. Not really, but it was truly badass. Not on only starring Kris Kristofferson, and foxy Ali MacGraw but the late great Ernest Borgnine- a new hero I've decided. To up the awesomness to this film, it was was directed by the outlaw/western master, Sam Peckinpah. The narrative current is aided with the country road stylings of C.W. McCall, whose album "Convoy" inspied the creation of this epic drama. I had a bunch of ideas about how the movie, could be interpreted into a killer concept album - I'm thinking sometihng in the range of Moistboys with Tomahawk and a dash of Kyuss, (Basically JUmP FIGHTER territory). An album-based on a movie-based on an album, rad, bad not as rad as the O.G.(the movie).
Without ruining any of it, I'm just going to have to urge anyone and everyone track down this title and add it too your holiday watchings, at least twice.

so, as most of you know, i broke my leg skateboarding almost 3 months ago. i had to get surgury and was left with a titanium rod and 4 screws in my leg. i was also left with the bill with no insurance that came to about 20 grand for everything. the reason i am telling you this is because i am now $15,000 less in debt. i applied for an assistance program through rogue valley hostpital who i owed $14,700 to, and got a letter on monday telling me i qualified for a 100% discount on my bill. not being sure i was reading the letter right i gave them a call thurs day morning and it was confirfed. the hospital wrote off my bill. i don't owe them a dime! i am stoked!

This gives me a boner.

PS. WISPY - welcome to the endysis family.welcome

Yeah, finished with my last final of my last Fall term of college. Now that I have nothing else to do, I'm going to drink all that beer that I don't have with that empty wallet that keeps yawning in my fuckin face. That's OK, I may be able find some other mind altering substances laying around the house. I might have some have some glue to huff, dried bannana peels to smoke, or maybe some codeine laying around. Do cleaning supplies do anything to you (in a catatonic sense of the word 'anything')? Whatever, as long as I can listen to Comets on Fire turned up pass "11" and still dance around in my underpants, I'll be aaaaaallll raaaiiigght.

Dang, the ScotchGuard is starting to kicking in. It sorta makes me feel like like this guy.

sLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
goooooooooooooooooooo0ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

i can post on endysis. fuck yeah.

about wispy:

born: ashland oregon

age: 22

occupation: construction, skate dork

likes: skateboarding, driving my car, drinking, fucking with eric, watching the hawk mordikia, roadtrips

dislikes: having a broken leg, meatheads, meth-heads, slow drivers, the occasional hesher, hangovers

living situation: couch touring/ parents house

top five movies: the big labowski, tron, the princess bride, transformers the movie, old school

top five bands: APC, queens, the clash, murder city devils, hawk mordikia

more info coming in the near future. peace

Just in case someone hasn't seen the trailer for Firecracker yet, check it out. You've gotta love the narrators voice nad audio clips at least; "in a world where no one knew . . . . . until one day" (in creepy chimo/radio dj voice).

After watching it I don't have any high hopes, we'll see . . . . . . just wait for the Peeping Tom album to come out, I'm sure that it will be "Hitchcockian . . . Masterpiece . . . Unlike anything else."

I think CHIPP shave his head for this photo! Way to go dude!

Even Matrix fans think the Wachowski's are bonewagons.

Matrix Explained

I was in the middle of having the best dream, when.....

8:00am - Alarm goes off - Snooze button
8:09am - Ditto
8:18am - Ditto
8:27am - Ditton
8:36am - Ditoo
8:45am - Dittt
8:54am - Yep, Ditto
9:03am - Ditditdit
9:12am - DITTOOTOT
9:21am - (Rubs eyes, Squints) "FUCK!"
9:22am - Shower
9:26am - SLEDG: "Babe, where are all of the towels?"
Babe(awoken from slumber): "They are all dirty, you got jizz on all of them."
SLEDG: "FUCK!"
9:27am - Brushing Teeth, Bagel in Toaster, Searching for Textbook, Feeding Geoff... All while soaking wet.
9:28am - Wet feet slip on kitchen linolium, say "FUCK!"
9:35am - To the Computer lab.
9:40am - Computer lab full, "FUCK!"
9:45am - Get coffee, sit down in cafeteria, start studying notes.
9:47am - Notice coffee has leak, has been dripping on my pants for minutes, it looks like i pissed my pants with chocolate milk. "FUCK!"
10:00am - Try computer lab again, people waiting in a line for a computer. I look around and see about 15 kids just fuckin around on myspace. I walk over to one and ask them if I can use their computer because i'm stressin out and I need one. They apologize while I imagine pulling their guts out of their ass and chewing on them. Some kid comes over and says that he was next in line and I say "oh, Sorry." I remain at the computer.
11:05am - Realize that I forgot something I needed at home, which means I was losing my computer. "FUCK!"
11:53am - Eric calls and tries to act all cool and shit.
12:07pm - Sugarbutt awakens and I jizz all over her and all of the towels.
12:10pm - Say "FUCK IT" and just study my notes.
3:30pm - Stop studying and start making mixtapes.
4:45pm - Say "FUCK!" and go to class early to study.
5:17pm - The secret I had been trying so desperately to keep the whole term of course comes out during the last class: I am the brother of another kid in the class. Everyone keeps talking about how much it makes sense now that they know. I want to throw missles. "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!"
5:30pm - Popular Culture Final "FUCK!"
5:31pm - "FUCK!"
5:32pm - "FUCK!"
5:33pm - "wait a second.... this is kind of easy...."
6:30pm - Get done breezing through the final, turn it in, pick up my final paper I turned in the class before.
6:33pm - Stoked because I got 100%.
6:35pm - Perplexed because after reading back over my paper, I realize had accidently turned in my rough draft again, and apperently she didnt notice, despite sentence fragments, jibberish, made up words, etc.
6:37pm - Feeling that great last-day-of-school relief, walk home in the freezing cold.
6:41pm - Open the door to find the splintered remains of a wine glass that Geoff apperently knocked out of the cubbard.

"FUCK!"

9:17pm - I realize I change tense a lot when I write. "FUCK!"

PS: I swear this is the best thing ever. It makes me laugh. I dont even feel bad about it either.
PSS: Jim Varney is Alive and Partyin'!.

Where these people come from I'll never know.

First it was the Krumpers.
Then the EMO pussies.
Then Dr. Dre fans.
Now its fans of Donkeylips from salute your shorts.

All I have to say about anyone who gets that bent out of shape about something like Donkeylips' rap career, is that they need to go wipe their ass and stop fucking their mother while shes in a cloroform induced coma.

And I still am trying to figure out how Ben Stiller has anything to do with anything. Except for this .....

a half-assed photoessay by eric.

How the fuck else am I supposed to divide by zero?
- and -
Nice jazz break.
- and -
loud.
- and -
MEGALODON.
- and -
The Locust
- and -
for een.
- and -
searching for 'sledg' yielded this? (how appropriate...)
- and -
OMG. I LOVE CONTRA.

Pizza, Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.




Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.

Pizza, Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.




Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.


Pizza, Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza. Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.



Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.




Pizza, Rock n' Roll Pizza.

Fuck. I finally got the 'staff' section up and running, it's really more of a 'cast and crew' -- czech it HERE. If you want your bio up there, drop me a line, somehow, someway.

I kept finding things to post about and decided to break it up because of length, but fuck, Mikey Bower DESERVES his own post. Big titty girl too.

(as a person who, as a reckless teen, once sucked the nitrous out of whipped-cream cans, i found this to be quite funny.)

Things have been pretty fucking busy on my end, that's why it's taken me nearly a week to assemble the staff section. Lots of things done, lots of things still to do. But the end is near, I can almost taste it. And it tastes good. A bit gamey, but good. Like elk.

The first half of my CS450 class (graphics) was pretty fucking hard. A lot of pretty intense coding with c++, definitely not one of my stronger suits. The second half, however, dealt with 3D modeling and animation. Our final assignment was to create a short 3D animation. I figured out the basic premise of what I wanted to do and began working to model a cassette tape in Maya. Having never used any sort of 3D program before, I was totally overwhelmed. Seriously, 3D graphics programs have to be the most complicated things ever.

Long story short, I eventually finished my animation. This past Wednesday, we watched all of them on a big projection screen with some decent sound. Now, I had put a big chunk of time making my animation as polished as I could with my limited skills. I thought that I'd see some amazing animations from the other "alpha-nerd" students, but I was wrong -- the majority of them were shit. They made mine look fairly incredible by contrast.

It's a big file (~17 megs), but you can see the animation here.

But yeah, dead week is basically over, I only have finals to look forward to, then a month of nothingness. I know I'll end up being bored 15 minutes into the break, but at this point, even boredom looks like a vacation.

It's late and I've been tying at warp-speed for the last hour. My fingers hurt. I love you all.

For some reason, I find it quite amusing that David Byrne plays a little too much "Missy Elliot" and get's a call from the RIAA.

and!

Perusing random photos on Flirkr (Wonderful timekiller) I, for a mere matter of seconds, felt like the sexually-frustrated middle-school version of eric who just began to notice breasts.

Myspace is such a great time waster. I asked this man to be my friend.

Donkey Lips = Character on "Salute Your Shorts"
Donkey Lips = Michael Bower
Michael Bower = Still alive
Michael Bower = rapper
Michael Bower = wow

Music page -- http://www.myspace.com/mikeyrayrap
Fan page -- http://www.myspace.com/donkey_lips
"SOULMATES ONLY" page -- http://www.myspace.com/mikey_rayder



Q: Who the fuck needs 3 different myspace accounts?
A: This badass.