More Can be found on Adam Jones' Myspace page (sorry but you are gonna have to look that up yourself).

In other news-
Dillinger Escape Plan have had to quit their current tour because Ben Weinman reinjured his arm the other day. As of right now there is no word how long it will take for him to heal. My feeling says that this is just another step closer to dillinger breaking up. Im just sayin......

UPDATE______________________________________
SMNnews.com has received reports from sources close to the OZZFEST 2005 camp that 2nd Stage artists MASTODON have been kicked off the OZZFEST 2005 bill, and are no longer a part of the tour. The statement reportedly indicates that the band were (or have been) "destroying" things backstage while drunk and disorderly, and have been considered problematic.

"...keep with the digging we're looking for fossils, hopefully someday we'll find the impossible link..."

So Eric, you didn't tell us you were pumping creative input into the veins of the Nike-o-saurus.  I'm getting these puppies on pre-order:

Rad. Word on the street has it that Big Business' "Stareadactyl" Cross-Trainers are on their way in the Fall.

Dig this shit:

yesterday was my birthday. it was a good day for me. nothing really happened. i worked. which was ok. jessie who i work with tried to arrange quite a few dates for me, but none of them wanted it. then i had a few people at my house for beer. it was a totally calm and good day. i dont' know if anyone knows about mars. on the 27th it was closer to us then it has been in a long time. my caring so much about astrology as i do, believe that this has a big effect on people. that there will be a tendence twords a fighting nature, and more importantly that there is a strong fire in the atmosphere. The 27th was my friend Kyle's birthday, and we went fucking crazy. It was his day but was celebrating it like it was my birthday, maybe more so than was appreciated, and felt a flame burning in me that was my ego on fire. like the world was mine. i felt this on my birthday too, and other times quite often lately. Kyle's birthday ended with him breaking his wrist, because like i said we went crazy, especially kyle. there was a period of burnout at around 6 pm, then he drank so much that we went into a world of insanity just taking along behind him.

i might have to continue celebrating my birthday for a week or so longer because what the fuck. on acount of all virgonians. i have never really known very many before in my life. but in the last 3 days i have met people with birthdays on the 25, 26, 27, and me 29th. and am hearing about all of these people right around these few days. the guy at the liquor store told me this, that there are so many of us in the little streach of days. then he gave me a free lime green bacardi rum. all i can say is damn it feels good to be a virgo. the wierd mother fucker that i am.

So i guess what i am getting at is that things have been treating me good lately. or at least i choose to precieve and feel that they are.

Fuck Yea.

I'm off. I don't know when I'll be back. Farewell.

It's been awhile -- let's start from the beginning.

First, my most-wonderful job with "the shoe giant" has ended. My last week was a big-ol' ball of stress, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I had to give two presentations -- my first "real" presentations outside of school. The first being presented to my boss, my boss's boss and my boss's boss's boss. I will hand it to them for creating such a structured, rigid and somewhat micromanaged hierarchy, but this was still nerve-wracking. I had to present on an area of the department that I thought needed improving -- hard not to sound like a know-it-all straight out of college. But, things went well. I picked up my last paycheck, turned in my badge, visited the employee store and said farewell to the company. Maybe, if I played my cards right, I'll have a "same-time-next-year" type of deal.

After wasting some idle cycles, I decided that it was time to bestow my presence upon the fabled land of Southern Oregon. I took my Explorer (which I still suspect think is a lemon, because the price was so low) on her first long trip. This car, although I really wasn't interested in buying a new one this summer, has been great so far. It's given me perspective on my pickup and how gutless the thing was. On the freeway, I'd have to start gaining momentum a mile before any big hills (kind of hard to predict, sometimes) if I ever wanted to reach the top. Now, I have a problem that I go too fast up big hills. Bobbing and weaving cars at 85mph. Yes.

The valley was great. I relaxed at my parent's estate during the day, hiking around in the hills alone, working on a tan and spending the nights in Ashland, catching up with my friends. It was perfect.

Then, there was the much-anticipated family reunion. In a campground just outside the Dalles, a large chunk of my family congregated. It was interesting seeing everyone. My dad has always kept a fair distance from these people, and for the first time, I could kind of see why. Family is important, but this was overkill. I did, however, meet a 12-year-old kid that shares the same name as me. We talked about computers and middle school. I made him promise not to fuck up our shared name and I did the same.

Next on my list is to get the fudge out of Beaverton. I've been packing, preparing for the end-of-the-month move back to Corvallis. I will miss Portland, but I can't wait to get to Corvallis -- it's like a magical wonderland -- free of any serious responsibility. It's like I get to go back to being a kid, if only for one more year.

Get the beer bong ready, Corvallis, I'm commin' home.

Mixtape Cover Art

1. Sweet Thing - Van Morrison
2. Rabbit in Headlights (Massive Attck Reverse Light instrumental) - UNKLE
3. Tuff Ghost - Unicorns
4. Poppy - TV on the Radio
5. The Equator - Tortoise
6. I'm Sick - Trevor Dunn's Trio Convulsent
7. 4 Degrees - Tool
8. Love - Smashing Pumpkins
9. It Could Be Sweet - Portishead
10. Someone's Second Kiss - RJD2
11. Sugar on My Tongue - Talking Heads
12. Seranade - Steve Miller Band (Yeah, Steve Miller, what)
13. Logical Song - Supertramp
14. A Brief Moment of Clarity..... - Red Sparowes
15. Paranoid Android - Radiohead
16. Lapland - Ratatat
17. Hope - Mahavishnu Orchestra
18. Sweet Thing (Reprise) - David Bowie

Total Running time According to ROXIO TOAST (Which is usually wrong): 78:16

Depending on who you talk to, this album is called either BROKEN Bottles EMPTY Hearts or EMPTY Bottles BROKEN Hearts. This is by far one of the best drinking albums ever. Especially if you live at Lazerbeams. Goddamn I wish I could Karaoke this shit.
1. I Want a Lot Now (So Come On) - This song is one of the few things Eric and I agree on: This is one of the best album openers in history.
2. Dancin' Shoes - If you are drunk and can't dance, but you want to really bad, this song is for you. This gets the poon all up in your face.
3. 18 Wheels - This song sounds the same even if you are so drunk you can't say real words. A song about leaving a lonely lady behind while you are on the road. A good singalong song.
4. Left Hand Right Hand - Inspired by the totally radass movie "Night of the Hunter". A good car driving tune.
5. Ready for More - This song should be played on every jukebox in every bar. Everyone would start drinking like a bunch of horny lions. THE BAR WOULD SELL OUT OF BOOZE!
6. Cradle to the Grave - Another good drunkin singalong song. Do you see a pattern here?
7. Dear Hearts - This song is for later in the night when all the ladies are drunk enough to want to fuck you. My patented "Magic Man" move works with this song also.
8. Hey Sailor - Pure RocknRoll. Good for staying awake while driving in the middle of the night.
9. Johnny Thunders - This whole thing confuses me. Johnny Thunders was from the New York Dolls. But there was also a Kinks song called "Johnny Thunders". I know this sweet tune is about Johnny Thunders from the Dolls, but where did this Johnny Thunders name originate? Anybody know? I like Jimmy Lightnings better anyway.
10. Stars in Her Eyes - This song is very helpful when you are drunk and pissed off about some dumb ass hoochie who wont fuck your cock. Mixes well with beligerent banter.
11. Another Round on You - Good beginner to a road trip or for drinkin. Or for warming up for Vollyball. Beach Vollyball. Naked Beach Vollyball. Drunkin Naked Beach Vollyball. If I had a Drunkin Naked Beach Vollyball team, this is what we would play as we stretched and got all warmed up.
12. Every Shitty Thing - Good for finding yourself screaming by yourself in your room. This song is filled with the most disgust and anger out of all the songs I've ever heard. Coincidently, MY FAVORITE ON THIS ALBUM.

MUCH LUV
SLEDG

GODAMMITT! This album rocks and makes me feel sad at the same time. It makes me feel sad, because this used to be a band that I thought had it together. I thought that they could not and woulld not suck. Then they release an album this year that gives me that horrible feeling of indifferance and I realise that Josh Homme's train has traveled into FAGville. But it wasnt always like that. Back when Queens still had hardcore mutherphukker/silly man Nick Olivieri, they kicked fucking ass! I'm just glad that I got to see them at the crystal ballroom (Dillinger and Icarus Line opened bitches) before Josh kicked Nick out of the band, and before they started opening in arenas for the equally gone-into-FAGville Nine Inch Nails. Well here was when they were good:
1. Feel Good Hit of the Summer - How Rock n Roll is this song? METAL rock n roll, thats how rock n roll it is.
2. The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret - This was the single from this album, and a strange thing (to me at least) that I've noticed is if you watch older DVD's or videos with previews of Teen Horror movies on them, this song is usually featured in the preview. My least favorite song on this album, coincidently.
3. Leg of Lamb - This song reminds me of FIRST ALBUM Queens. Knowing how they usually pick songs to record for their albums, I wouldn't be surprised if this song was written at the same time as the first album (or even before).
4. Auto Pilot - Sung by a rad-ass named Mark Lanegan. I saw a solo Nick Olivieri perform this with Mark Lanegan doing vocals. It kicked ass. If you want to have an ejaculation that lasts for 4:01 minutes then listen to this sweet tune.
5. Better Living Through Chemistry - This wierd song is one of my favorites on the album, but it also is where I think the beginning of the downward spiral of QOTSA began. The feeling of this song runs rampant on the new QOTSA album "Lullabies to Paralize". If they would have kept their "Psychodelic Spooky Metal" thing pinned to just this song, things would have turned out better in the end. But instead this was just forshadowing for a tamer and watered down QOTSA. This song is better than the whole "Lullabies to Paralize" album.
6. Monsters in the Parasol - Again a kind of bridge from the first album. This song has a super silly music video. I recommend checking it out.
7. Quick and to the Pointless - A kind of song that is now extinct. The kind where Nick sings on a QOTSA track. These tend to be the most metal, in my opinion. He just sounds so dirty.
8. In the Fade - Another Lanegan Track. If this song can't get you laid, you are looking for girls at the wrong place. I lost my virginity to this song (well, technically the silly Feel Good Hit of the Summer reprise at the end of the track).
9. Tension Head - Anyone who knows anything knows that this is a Nick Olivieri song. He has also recorded it with Mondo Generator, the other band that he has been kicked out of. This song is like explosions, man.
10. Lightning Song - This is a nice little ditty, it makes you feel good and stuff.
11. I think I Lost My Headache - This song is a nice mix of everything I good about QOTSA. It is also a nice closer to the album.

MUCH LUV
SLEDG

1. Land of Sunshine - This song reminds me of the first Mr. Bungle album. This is my least favorite song on the album, but its still a good start off point. ITS ALL UPHILL FROM HERE!
2. Caffeine - Seriously. What tha Fuck yo? This song kicks so much azz. As with many songs on this album, seems like a good end credits song in a movie. Later on in the history of the world, this would be covered by Dillinger Escape Plan before they worked with Patton. Its like an old man falling down dead while hes taking a shower (in slow motion).
3. Midlife Crisis - This song will get stuck in your head, I promise. But, remember its better than the Black Eyed Peas.
4. RV - The background music is very (VERY) reminiscent of the water levels on Super Mario Bros. It seems to be a trashy old man talkin shit by himself in his trailer. If only I could find a Karaoke Bar that has this song! The world would finally suck my DICK!!!
5. Smaller and Smaller - Flames, Wounds, Blood, Chaos. It's Like a tsunami wrapped in some Hurricanes.
6. Everythings Ruined - The calm after the storm when the parents are trying to get their toddler's radio flyer down from a tree. But everyone is safe and thats all that matters, right?
7. Malpractice - If you want to hear one the creepiest songs ever, this one works. This song kicks Cradle of Filth's azz. Dillinger covered this song during one of their performances with Patton (during the same show they cover Justin Timberlake). Seriously, this song shoould be on all of those "creepy" First Person Shooter video games.
8. Kindergarten - Like remembering a childhood you never had. This is my favorite song on the disc.
9. Be Aggressive - Pssst, hey! Dont tell anyone but I think this song might be about blowjobs! Sssshhhhh! I always picture Jack Nicholson's Joker dancing to this song. Yep it's that funky.
10. A Small Victory - I have never seen a more fitting song title. It's like getting your second wind after drinking all morning.
11. Crack Hitler - Like awakening to find yourslef on the cruise ship from hell. It's on fire. There are crackheads fucking each other everywhere. There's a pirate ship shooting at you. The Captain has no lips... you know. You get it.
12. Jizzlobber - THIS SONG IS SO METAL IT MAKES ME WANT TO SHIT MY PANTS. Lord Bearded thought of the best video concept for this I have ever heard.
13. Midnight Cowboy - Yes, a cover of the movie's theme. I love this version of it, but the piece of music is great anytime its been played. It makes me feel like ranting at the top of my lungs when there are only a few people left at O'ryans and they are all on the verge of passing out.

SERIOUSLY, GUYS, SERIOUSLY

MUCH LUV
SLEDG

1. This Morning on public access, the strangest show I've ever seen was on. It was footage of the animals at the portland zoo edited together with Rancid playing over it. Added to that was a voice of the stereotypical nasal-y (?) redneck southern type talking about building a strong opposition to the corruptive jews and the jew run media. This guy went on for about 15 minutes, and the whole time I was trying to figure out if it was for real. Gotta love public access.

2. Shinola Vol. 1 by ween
Although I've heard a few of these tracks before, none of them ever sounded this good. Might as well be a new album as far as I'm concerned. Here is what the album makes me visualize.
1. Tastes Good on Th' Bun - Being stuck at some unknown southern relatives get together and the only small talk they can make during dinner are the hellish words from this song.
2. Boys Club - Wooden Swords, Bandanas, Treehouses.
3. I Fell in Love Today - A day in Slow-motion, duh.
4. Big Fat Fuck - A man made of Jelly and he keeps drinking koolade out of a pitcher and it just pour all over him.
5. Gabrielle - An obvious Thin Lizzy homage. They do a good job of it though. All I think of when I hear tis is Chaps. You know, chaps? Chaps? That you wear? Yee-haw cowboy chaps? Oh, and ladies licking their lips.
6. Did You See Me? - Sounds like it should be on Pink Floyd's Animals album. Some might not like that, but it is just dandy for me.
7. How High Can you Fly - Icarus flying while the boognish fucks with his mind. Oh, and its in claymation.
8. Transitions - Waiting in line at the friendliest cafeteria EVER.
9. Isreal - This one is kinda wierd. It reminds me of two things and they are both other songs. One is "Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis Enema Squad (The Doodoo Chasers)" by Funkadelic, and the other is this song from the movie "Collateral". Embarassingly, it is a Paul Oakenfold song. Embarassing because it is something I remember. Its just one of those songs that gets stuck in your head OK!!? The visual I get is of Jean Claude Van Damme training in BLOODSPORT. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? YES, I was thinking "dudical" too.
10. The Rift - Hungover in space. and for some reason Toejam n Earl.
11. Monique the Freak - Like Prince and P-Funk put together. I think of tight purple pants, and big teeth. Oh, and those big earrings. Thats about it.
12. Someday - Laying in a field, daydreaming. Catching and releasing grasshoppers.

3. One of the most underrated albums of all time:
Angel Dust by Faith No More

Jesus fucking Christ have you heard this damn shit! If you haven't, then go buy it. Right now. I'll do a track by tracker on it later. (maybe tomarrow if you are lucky, you bitches).


MUCH LUV
SLEDG

points to eric. the layout is absolutely fabulous. i am partial to green myself, so finding this lovely little surprise made my morning.

drove home today because i got a chunk of days off. really, this will be one of the last times before the holidays that i get to spend time in the valley, so i thought i'd take advantage of it, spend time with the friends and family. my sister and her fiancee are one their way back from california tonight, so that's lucky, but my stupid little brother had to go and be a counselor for camp this week. i passed him on I-5 right by the rogue river mill at around 10:45 this morning. we waved. it was our moment.

my other brother and i purchased tickets to go see flogging molly at the roseland sept. 4th. i must admit, i'm rather thrilled about it. i love flogging molly and my little bro is the one who got me stuck on them in the first place. really, i think it'll be one of the best birthday presents ever. definitely looking forward to that.

but really the whole reason i'm posting is because i have a problem. i have a song stuck in my head. and not a fun one. it came out years ago, probably in like '98 or '99, and dit was one of those very poppy-type tunes. all i can remember is one line from the song, and i have't been successful with any google searches yet. does anyone recognize this in the slightest?

"go away/ go away you're a loser/ she's gone/ she moved out on her own/ but he knew/ as he looked through her window/ she could never be alone"

i mean, i could hum the damn tune for you, i just can't remember the title or the artist or anything. this is killing me. it's been like a week and a half. anyone got anything?


always.....

After three hours of making the transition from my box to the official Endysis server, it's finally done and it's fucking green.

This layout took a little longer to design than my other ones. I opted to write it from scratch, whereas most of my past layouts were just half-assed CSS changes. This is fresh. This is clean. This is green. Honestly, my CSS could probably be a little more efficient (probably some redundant tags), but take it from me, it's a million times better than the last few layouts.

I finally got the search function working as best I can as well as a functional calendar. Check it out -- I think it's pretty fuckin' neat.

I even brought back the avatars. I like those.

If you find anything that looks weird, leave a comment or e-mail me @ immortal.at.endysis.dot.org

Holy shit -- I forgot to reenable the comment blacklist (the thing that keeps the majority of those POKER / CIALIS/ ETC comments from slipping through) and withing 5 minutes of being back online, there were already 15 comments for PARTY POKER. I fucking hate spam.

Anyway, aside from my nerdy webpage work, things have been really good.

On Saturday night, I met up with Jeryl, Darla and Sledg for the Red Sparrowes / Big Business / Pelican show at Sabala's. It was fucking amazing. Best $12 concert I've been to in ages. I left that show feeling like I just got punched in the face / mouth. I got my socks rocked off.

Today, my parents came and visited. They are on their way up to the San Juans for their yearly vacation to paradise. I bought them shoes. It was good seeing them again. Wonderful people. I felt grown up. I tried to pay for dinner but my dad wouldn't have it. How sweet.

But yeah, this is my last week with the shoe giant. I'll be sad to go, but I'm happy I still have one more year of being a kid waiting for me in Corvallis. I will miss the amazing paychecks. Poor isn't so bad though. Something romantic about a starving college kid, right?

But yeah, it's past my bedtime. I love y'all. Lots.

The Summer is quickly winding down. It's been a blur of early mornings, late nights, stress and sunshine.

These past few weeks have flown right by. My days at the shoe-giant are numbered. It's been a blast, however. My last day is next friday and even though I still have much to accomplish, I'm confident that I will come out on top.

I've spent the last few days making a new layout from scratch. I'm going for simplicity. The last thing I want to do when I get home is code, but after having to follow a 45 page coding standards document (which helps to produce some beautifully nice and consistant code), this fucking webpage looks like a goddamn mess. It's been a while since I've completely redone the site from the ground up (ie: years). My CSS is a bit rusty (shame on me), so it's been a struggle. I forgot how much of a pain in the ass it is to code for a non-standards compliant browser (ie: internet explorer).

If any of you are using said browser (which, judging by server logs, you are), I highly suggest you make the switch to firefox. It's free. It's vastly superior, even in it's infancy.

Tomorrow, my manager is taking our team out to Bullwinkle's Fun Center, which should be sufficiently awkward. The people I work with are great, but I have serious qualms about hanging out with them outside of work.

Regardless of what happens, it should be amazing.

i love you all.

I left my camera at Sledg's house, only to get it back later. When I finally downloaded my pictures (ie: right now) -- this is what I found. I can't make any sense of it.

what the fuck...

Heavy shit, huh?

also, I recently found my old friend Pat's (from way back when endysis was hosted over at skizzers.org) new fangled website. He has much better ideas than I do. Check out his site: MY SCANNER IS BROKEN.

Again, MY SCANNER IS BROKEN.

So I had this crazy dream last night: I was somewhere in oregon and it was raining (rain in oregon? weird...) but I was really rushing to get somewhere. The dream me knew where I was going, but I couldn't figure it out. I tried to look around to see where I was, but the dream me just kept going, eyes straight ahead.

Next thing I know, I'm walking into Mrs. E's journalism room. About two seconds later, Eric walks in behind me, and right after him the lovely Kelly Goodkin. We stood there for a few seconds, talking about something, although what it was I don't remember, waiting for the bell to ring. See, I remember this drill: back in the journalism days, some of us would get into the room and just stand around, shooting the shit and whatnot, while others of us would immediately get to work, even before the bell sounded. The thing is, I remember myself being one of the ones who got right to work. But in the dream there was a very important reason that we were not getting to work, Kelly, Eric and I. The bell rang, and we all looked at the desk, to see Mrs. E sitting-- no, wait, it wasn't Mrs. E, it was Miss Wahpepah, or Mrs. Bish, or one of those other subs who I really didn't care for, especially in this class. Then it hit me (the real me, not the dream me) that this was a Tuesday. Translation = long period of journalism.

We're gonna go take care of some interviewing Eric informed the sub oh-so smoothly. We've got some stuff to take care of, and since it's a long period, we want to get as much of it done as we can.
The sub merely looked at us and reminded us to take our journalism passes.

And we were out of there.

Here is where the real me remembers it all again. It was a Tuesday, and there was a sub that day. But substitute or not, Eric and I were not staying on campus to do work that day. Oh no, we had far greater things planned. Such as, making Kelly drive us to Fred Meyer so we could purchase the new TOOL album! Yeah, we got there before they were even out on the shelves. The boxes were barely even opened yet. Hell yeah.

Sometimes those dreams that turn out to be memories are the most fun. Oh, back in the day....