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adam jones on the left, king buzzo in the middle...

Which is Better?

i dont love the humanoids from the deep they have long arms and big shlongs crackalackin dingdong i love eating icecream and drinking beer there is a new thing on the intranet and it is the beginning of the alphabetof the mind and ilike eating lots of sweaty ballsacks in my mouth from the insane times of fucking pussy in my dick,

pssss. this is simply a reaction from having quite smoking. Its ben two weeks since ive had a smoke. i am goin nutzZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

me: "Hi, I'm calling about the [insert shitty, overpriced car here]... is that still around?"
them: "aw naw, i jus' sol' that 'un"

Next time a car decides to expire on me, I think I'll just take myself out along with it because there is no hell like that of trying to find a suitable used car. I'd rather drink 10w40 and snap my fingernails off trying to get the frozen bolts out of my block than dry-call another person selling a car.

It all started a week ago. I was driving back from The Dalles, from a friend's birthday party. It was a warm day, I had my windows down and the stereo up. I was just getting into portland around 11:00pm when I hear a slight "tick-tick-tick." Being hypersensitive to my pickup's noises, I quickly let up on the gas and the noise stops. Thank goodness.

Then, I put the gas back on and it's about 2 times worse. And over the course of the next 5 minutes, it grows from a tiny noise to a monsterous BANG-BANG-BANG. The death rattle of my favourite vehicle to date. ugh.

I manged to get her home, but I could tell it was serious. I took her to the mechanic where my worst fears were validated: blown head gasket. $1100 to replace. I could do that. Wait, no, my head was warped. That requires new engine: $2500. uh, no thank you.

So, I decided to take my chances and try to find a suitable replacement. I scouredcraigslist , pdxforsale and the classifieds. Terrible. Here are my two mini-adventures our of my 5 attempts, both of which happen to be Jettas:

Make: Jetta
Year:1996
Price: $2000.
Features: "CLUTHC THAT DOESN'T SLIP!"
Facourite description line: "CALL ME RIGHT NOW"

A 1996 for $2000? It Seemed too good to be true.

It was.

I called this "kid" once, got his mom, who had to go track him down in their seemingly mansion-like home. As she yelled his name, I heard tons of doors opening and closing. There must have been liek 35 rooms in this house. weird.

Anyway, this hyper sounding kid (who can't be a day over 17) gets on the phone. He wants 2 grand, cash. I want to drive it. We set up a time and everything is gravy. We meet halfway, in a K*Mart parking lot. He had the biggest Slurpee I'd ever seen.

The car looked good, albeit a few scratches. The tires were shot but the interior was clean. I got in and started driving.

The first thing I notice? THE CLUTCH, WHICH HAPPENS TO BE SLIPPING.

I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. When asked about it, the kid said "oh, that's how Jettas drive"

Make: Jetta
Year:1988
Price: $2000.
Features: 17 inch rims, suspension, ramair intake and flowmaster exhaust, euro bumpers and grill, pis fog lamps, newly replaced interior, new brakes
Facourite description line: "f-ing amazng deal!!!!!!!!"

So, I called these people 3 times before I got a call back nearly 3 days later. It was still availiable. 100k miles. New engine, interior and tranny. Looked DAMN promising. I set up an time to drive it and find a ride to Sherwood through the country (this fact becomes importland later). First thing I see is the car, parked crooked in the street with a spare tire on. I knock on the door and noone answers. I call the number I have. No answer. I wait around 10 minutes and finally get a call.

Their excuse, I shit you not: "My mom is real old and her goat died so I had to run some errands for her"

Turns out the car is missing one of the 17" rims (WTF?!). It has a wrecked title(WTF?!). The tires are worn to shit (strange wear patterns, I suspect a bent frame). Most importantly is how the car sounds. If you somehow magically hooked up a coffee can to a blender so that it would spin real quick but did it poorly so it was very off balanced then put rocks in it and turned it on, that's about how it sounded. It seemed like there was absolutly no oil in the car. I didn't even drive it. I was scared.

I decided to pass on this one and took the girl driving me around out for a few drinks.

Funny thing, on the way back from Sherwood, I spot an Explorer parked on the side of the road, obviously for sale. It's about 10pm at this point and I decide to have her pull over. I look it over, call the number, the guy comes down, we talk, I drive, things are good, I whip out my wad of cash and pay in full. It hadn't been out there more than two hours. I was the eigth person to call and the third to test drive.

My birthday present to myself. Word.

...Some people do arts and crafts, we judge."

so the roomies are out. again. i didn't think the 20 thing was really gonna get to me, but four nights out of the last six they've been out, and i'm starting to feel more than a little out of the loop. ho hum. less than two months until the big 21. i will survive. i was thinking that perhaps if we got a cat things might be better. i don't mind being without people, but being alone in our apt sort of creeps me out. it's quiet here. freakishly quiet. it sort of makes me nervous. i think if we had a cat in the house i'd be a little bit better, at least there'd be someone here, but... oh well. the roommates are going down to napa weekend after this, so maybe i'll get one while they're gone and they can deal with it upon their return.... (insert maniacal laughter here).

there's some crazy lighting up here right now. i love it. the quiet thing added to the lighting is a little creepy. but i like it. i also like having wireless in the house so that i can type this while sitting on my porch and having a smoke. it's the simple things in life, right?


always.....

I dont watch Tv that often, but when I do, it tends to0 be at about 2 - 4 am. Durimg these hours the A&E channel plays 2 shows that I can never resist.

Dog - The Bounty Hunter
Criss Angel: Mindfreak

The people that make up these two "Reality" shows are absolutely unbelievable. Criss Angel is what Tooth wishes he was. Dog is also what Tooth wishes he was. It's like watching the Broken dreams of Jesse (Tooth). Criss Angel is a "Hardcore" magician, and Dog is a "Hardcore" bounty hunter. But they are both "Hardcore" in the 80's way. That is really the best I can describe the shows. You should just check them out for yourselves. They are absolutely dudical in every sense of the word. Oh yeah, and the themme song of MindFreak consists of the magician screaming "MINDFREAK!!!!!!!!!!" over and over again. In the end credits of the show, it shows this song being recorded and who iis behind all the nobs and things? Jonathan Davis from Korn. Glad to see hes staying busy nowadays. Recording shitty theme songs for shitty shows about magicians. Dog The Bounty hunter is fuckin badass though.

yes props, i'm givin em. one goes out to Yes who are awesome. one goes out to Aphex twin because some new styles of music are really awesome and good for the human race. and one goes out to good old Creatence ClearWater. because it puts me in such a good mood.


on the 25 i will be going on a 10 day hike from somewhere around fish lake and trying to reach crater lake and explore. should be a good experience for me. i am thinking we should have a big party up in the woods on sunday night or monday. the 25th or 4th.

and don't forget to meditate on the 23. saterday. i cant remember why.

wait it is mnday. oh well fuck it!!!

I have had a wierd day...

I did absolutely nothing. Never left my house. Stayed inside worked on some things.

I watched an old british serial killer movie called "Peeping Tom". Cheezy as shit but it gives you that uncomfertable feeling that serial killer movies give you.

Ithen started watching A&E and there was a show on called "THE BTK KILLER SPEAKS". I watched the whole hour of it. I cannot fathom what that point of view must be like. After watching it I decided that the only two movies I can think of that actually get it right are MAN BITES DOG and HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER. the thing that those movies do right is the realism. There is not so much style hitting you in the face detaching you from what you are seeing. The other two things those movies seem to do right is that they present their killers as (on the outside) normal people with something that they hide from people. Anyhow, if I missed a movie that you think deserves to stand with those feel free to post it.

Now Im off to get this icky feeling out of my bones....... I want to see something where someone slips on a banana peel and wins a birthday cake....

oh my lord... did anyone else read this? it was in the sports section of the oregonian today. so so sooo terrible!!!

very bad man

has anyone seen the documentary entitled 'control room'? it's about the al jazeera coverage of the war in iraq.

ironically enough, my roommate and i decided to watch a movie tonight. we settled on 'wag the dog'. and entertaining flik, sort of thought provoking in that 'i really don't want to think too much about this movie because it will probably just depress me once i realize it could quite possibly hold some merit.' and then, immediately after, we watched 'control room'. it is, by far, one of the most interesting, depressing films i've seen in quite awhile.

i watched this and i just got so mad. because all i could think of was how many people have died, on both sides, and for what? when al jazeera showed the footage of the american pow's and they asked them "why are you here in iraq?" the three of them said "because i follow orders" or some other such answer. and i know, i know, they're in the military, they're just government pawns, blah blah blah. say what you want, but it's not always so simple. take me, for example. yes, i am in the military. yes, i chose to be there. why? because i go to a fucking expensive school and need all the help financially i can get. because i joined the national guard, where we are supposed to focus our efforts on the homefront, our homestate. not get shipped overseas to aid in a war that we should be nowhere near. i didn't sign up to do that. i didn't sign up to go over to the 'the big sandbox'.... putting out forest fires and filling sandbags for floods, that's what the guard is supposed to do. help in times of natural disaster here on our soil. and yes, i know, it's my own damn fault that i'm in, i signed, no one forced me to, yes yes YES, i KNOW! but so many of the people who are in the military are there because it was their last resort. i met so many people in training who seriously had nothing left. the army, well it's a good deal for those people. they pay you to go to school, to learn a trade and get started in a career path, they offer benefits and job security... please don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to go on a campaign trail in support of the army. but from the inside it looks a little different.

i hate this war. i hate that i might have to be a part of it. i guess i already am. i really don't know what the point of this post is at all. but watching that documentary just hit me... i guess in a way it wouldn't hit most everyone else. watch it. it's good.


always.....

damn either no one wants to talk to me or i shouldnt gamble anytime soon. Only on person in my cellphonebook answered tis evening and that was eric. At first i genuinely wanted to talk to some people butt after a while i was just calling people to see if they would answer. damn yo. Im mister unpopular. I called my girlfriend (who is out of town) and she answered but she told me about how she and her friends were making fun of me right when i called and thats all she wanted talk about. well thats what i get i guess. Maybe i should turn emo...


....oh. One more thing. every once in a while when i download things off of limewire, i look at a specific persons library just to see what they have (i havent found anyone without porn by the way) and tonight i was downloading some chris cunningham commercials and i found thid guy:

weirdo porn

ps. Thirsty thursdays at PGE park bitches!
pss. Ive been drinking rothschild 100.

is great because everything that someone says can be taken so many ways. i battle with the thought of saying waht i want to say and what i think will be read by it's readers. and then wen reading, what is said adn what is meant to be said. it is all how you take it in. and peace i am out. but i want to also say where do you get these sites eric? because i like them.

random links:

justcurio.us -- my favourite time waster. Amazing. Post the links to any questions you ask / answer. can you guess which answer is mine? what about this one?

The funniest thread ever -- The IMDB forums are the asshole of the internet. Even worse than fark.

awesome e-mail address -- yeah. total.

actually, maybe this is the best thread ever -- i love somethingawful.com

The Monster Engine -- what a brilliant idea.

Starvin' with Louis -- Magic within the videos.

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(yummmmm)

(mmmmmy)

i was walking down 23rd today and this silver corolla goes rolling by with it's windows down, and there is a middle-aged man (trying very hard to look 20 again) rocking out to alanis morrisette. and i mean rocking out. but her acoustic version, the one they're selling at starbucks right now... he looked so sad and.... yes, almost emo. it was one of those bizare moments where i just had to stop walking, look around me to make sure that other people had also seen that, and then move on.

yesterday was the on-campus registration for the incoming freshmen. that was a strange moment in the life of me. i just stood there, looking at all these kids who are the same age as my brother, definitely remembering how it felt when i was at pacific registering for my first semester, and feeling very old. don't get me wrong, i do recognize that i am far from old. as far as most seniors go, i am one of the very youngest. one mom and her son walked up to me to ask me a question about housing or something along those lines. i explained as best i could, and then he asked what year i was. i told him i was going into my senior year and his mom just sort of chuckled and said "oh, well you've already got all this figured out. it's like second nature to you. now you just get to ride it out and you're set." but oh my god, i am so not set, and i so do not have it figured out. but so many of those kids looked at me and assumed that i've got it all down, because i'm a senior now. shit, dude, that's weird.

other than that... my roommate is dying. ok, not really, but she is so damn sick that she might as well be. i believe the official diagnosis is severe bronchitis, an extreme sinus infection and mild pneumonia. so the doctor told her she had to take time off of work. normal people would probably be greatful for this, but my roommate works 65+ hours at two jobs, so she's been going a bit crazy the last couple of days not being able to work. i think her medicine is starting to kick in though, and not in the good way, because today all she could do was sleep, which is exactly what she needed. i got home from drill, she woke up, we made pancakes and bacon, watched harry potter, and then decided it was time for bed. now here i am, on my way to sleep and it's not even midnight. that, my friends, is very exciting. tomorrow i shall attempt to finish the unpacking of my room. we shall see...


always.....

I have spent the last 3 hours playing Megaman 2. What started as a casual game to kill time became a mission to defeat that goddamned dr. wiley. I think most of my anger stems from those fucking birds that drop the eggs on air man's level. The eggs that explode into a million little tiny birds that fuck you up like a carcrash. Anyway, I just beat it. I havn't done that since I was 8 or 9. It was a struggle this time around -- I must have been a badass when I was a kid.

This weekend has gone by so quickly. It was a blur. A sexy blur, filled with wine and cheap beer.

Friday night was spent at the Schinz, seeing Alanis Morrisette with a friend. She totally conned me into going. I didn't have to pay for the ticket. It was entertaining, but seriously, the crowd was awesome. Middle aged couples, with their hands in each other's back pockets. It was gross. I had a good time; I ended up getting pretty thrashed on the shitty merlot they were selling.

I also got paid on Friday (aka Eric's trip to MONEY CITY). Those bastards took out over $1100 in taxes. WTF. I splurged at the employee store, buying lots of shoes (four pairs) among other things. I ended up dropping like $250. DANG.

Saturday night was awesome. I met Sledg at his apartment, we drank greyhounds (our version of the drink [100 proof vodka and squirt]). After downing the drinks while watching the sadness that is the Pink Floyd reformation, we hit up the Pioneer Square mall (which happens to be circular) to see "War of the Worlds."

Worst movie ever.

Sledg and I kept exchanging confused glances. That movie -- SO BAD. Incredible. It was a good laugh though. Tom Cruise is fucking crazy.

We then went to Mary's and Union Jack's and got thrashed. We spent a lot of money on trashy strippers and shitty beer. It was nice though, just us two boys out on the town. I think we bonded. or something.

Fuck, I had planned to write a big ol' long post -- I'm bored now.

Maybe later...

i have been taking shots. like thirty of them. i think i might die. luckly they were all just papst shots. i tell you what. (let me repeat) I tell you what! thoes beer in shot form is dangerous. but i survived. It was me gabe and his girlfriend natilie. and we are all in trouble. they have gone to bed by now. so i have an entire house to myself. and best of all i get natilie's moms bed. fuck yea, reed style! tehy have this god, i mean dog named. something. she is very cool. i got her do dance with me, and we were sparing. i would throw a radicle U punce at her and she'd growl at me and run away, then i push her a bit and growl back and she'd try to get fiesty with me. and then walk away. and im repeat mode this was our dance. She has no tail. funny. it wasn't dockes or anything when she was a puppy, it was amputated, adn now there is nothing. it is pretty funny. i thought she was a strange breed at first.

well now i go to bed, tomorrow is my day off, and i hope to hear from you all. and maybe to get drunk off of some wisky. because wishky is bad ass. vodka is for pussys. just to inform yo all.

good night, oya-sumi. bunas noches.

so, back to life up north... i have the new computer (it's so much fun!), i'm in the process of moving fully into the new apt (such a pain in the ass, but so cute!), and hopefully i'll be starting a new job soon. where, i don't know, but i'm just hoping a job pops up somewhere, you know? gotta pay those bills...

the boy didn't call me tonight. he was supposed to, but then i got a text saying he'd call tomorrow. it's not that i'm super dependant on him or anthing, far from it, but i've found that i sleep better after having talked to him at night. is that pitiful? probably a little. damn. i don't like being pitiful...

i think one of the hardest things ever is finding out something bad about someone whom you really admire, trust, and respect. i know that this person is still my friend and is still the same person, but unfortunately i totally view him in a different light now, and try as i might, i can't shake knowing what i know about him now. it really makes me lose more than a little respect for him, and that makes me sad.

sorry this is all so scattered and random and not making too much sense. things are sort of crazy right now and i'm not sure when they'll settle down again. so long summer... back to being a busy individual.

you all are great. just so you know.


always.....

[click for hires version]

also:
lipsvelvet.
i hate horses.

hey guys, and gals.
i am home now at the end of the fourth of july. it was a good one this year. i have had a really good night tonight. it's 155, i just came back from a party at ryan davidsons house. the rest of the night and day has been real good too. i met this girl there named dandi. you know like ghandi. she was really cool. i had seen her earlier on the dance floor. you know i was standing there watching everyone dance and i was feeling uncomfrotabe, like i usually do. i saw her standing and made eye contact. Then i went outside where i would feel safe in the darkness. (he lives at emiliys old house across from the high school, just so you know where i am talking about). And this girl came out there. i was sitting on this falling apart box, and kept sinking lower and lower, but wouldnt move. we ended up talking for a long time. not deep stuff at all. Thought she did seem cool, good taste in movies and a chill and intelligent enough person that i was impressed by her. she was frying on mushrooms and i think felt more comfortable out there too. i supose we didin't talk about much, or even talk much at all, but she felt comfortable around me and stayed. i really like this because if she was frying, then my nervous fear could have gotten to her real quick, but it didn't. eventually conor took her home, and i didnt care that he was trying to get her to leave. i just felt comfortable around her, i could relax, and not say much, maybe just because she was frying, i don't know. but i very much feel good about meeting her, and wouldnt mind doing it again. Then

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Ive got some bad news for anyone who is cool:

The Hot Snakes are breaking up as soon as their tour is over. I am bummed about this because:

1. They are one of the most rockin bands around today
2. I missed my chance to see them when they came through town in the fall because i was broke.

Anyone who doesnt onw any of their shit, should buy some, i garauntee it would be worth their while. Unless you are into EMO. Then you should buy a SMITHS box set or something.

i have been thinking about all the the good and bad shit. in the world, and in myself, and in poeple. in everything. because it is there. good and bad. you can say and think what you want about it. it is all perfect. or god decides what is good and bad. or that it all just is what it is. but no. there is a good and bad, and it is personally determined. but the thing is, is that there is nothing wrong with bad, and the good is nothing special.

but the good feels good, you know?

i have been thinking about my life a lot. and there is a lot of things in it that i am not happy with. but i have never lied about them. i acknowledge their existance. what i am thinking is that i can focus on what ever i want to. this is what is important. now what is good and what is bad in me. but what i dwell on. if i can notice the bad, but not dwell in it, and instead focus on the good, then i will be set. Maybe i have over simplifed. but i think there is a valuble line of thought here. in my recent ego ups and downs. in my recent ego extreams. when i feel oh so special. and when i feel like shit. i have notieced that i tend to continue which ever i believe to be true. if i think and focus on my good sides then i am more likely to be thoes good things. and if i think about how shitty some of my sides are then i act them out. ***and then there is always that i am what ever i am feeling at any given moment so why not feel good about myself and this world. why not feel good about my work and my town and this world. i wont be naieve, but i will dig for the positive, what ever it is and push that to continue, and the bad shit can dwell other places, creeping out now and then, being experience and understood...but not focused on.

i supose this is not by any streach a complete thought but i am drunk now and it's all i got. so rock on you fucks.
... i mean rock and roll you radical rad's!

i was just watching dateline. i don't know if anyone has heard about this, but it was about this guy aron rolston. He got his arm stuck in some rocks in the desert or some thing. and could not get free for five days i think. until he cut his own fucking arm off. he was talking about how he went through the process. snaping the bones, cutting through the skin and muscle. using a plyers to tear apart the tendon. and riping the nerves. This man is fucking amazing. how could someone survive this! and how could they do it in the first place. Then he repelled six stories down the rock face with one hand. I think he might me my new hero.