All Ive thought about since I woke up at 7:30 this morning
"In Heaven, everything is fine"
For some reason those few words mean so many things to me. Im not religous in the least, but I find myself thinking about that phrase often.
At 4:00 this morning there was a girl in the bathroom of PSL's house cutting her wrists.
PSL caught her before any real damage was done. They went outside and talked for a long time. When PSL came back, she was in tears naturally. I lost control, I started crying. We laid there in the bed crying. We had a long conversation about how depression is spreading like an epidemic. We talked about suicide. It was a strange end to the night. And even though PSL and I decided last night to just be friends, we held each other tight all night. Oh yeah, and last night I got spanked in the ass by a stripper with my belt.

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hi, got fucked BIG TIME
anyone who has known me and saw me last night agreed that it was the most fucked up they've ever seen me. You can kinda tell with the comment i left on erics birthday post.
boring pics though.

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Hi.
I had the single most coolest dream last night. I passed out at around 3am listening to THE MOLLUSK in my WEEN playlist on itunes.
Oh yeah, I turn 21 tonight at midnight, so i might be AWOL or MIA from the site for awhile. Friday night going to portland with eric and some peeps to rock the locust and dillinger escape plan.

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See That? Yeah, thats from this

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Ho through vision lost! You can't short the shame of being. Do you remember a time when ghosts kept secrets in closets with skeleton keys? Doom. There is no longer an iron burning bright awaiting an anvil in the pit of my being. Only a vague reccollection of something shattered in ever clouding eyes. Alight, be gone!

hey dudes
Two Smoke and Smoke mp3's are available their website
www.smokeandsmokepracticespot.com
They are fuckin awesome,
and if you dont think so,
you are not fuckin awesome.
MUCH LUVE SLED
fuck i almost forgot:
ps. You wanna know who is like a drunken banshee screaming at you from some black hole? Spencer Moody. Spencer Moody is like a drunken banshee screaming at you from some black hole.

Hi i did nothing today
NOTHING
Well i drew a picture, and then fucked it up and threw it across the room.
I also layed on my bed, listening to THE LOCUST full blast
thats all though

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UPDATE: okay, the KSOC servers officially suck. The stream = bork. sorry kids. next week?

Hey allz
Tonight
10pm pacific standard time
Ksoc
Listen
Call
You will love me.

i just spent the last however many hours making this layout. i had one that i was working on, but i scrapped that and wrote this one. it's almost all CSS, which is a pain in the ass to get to work with Pivot, the best weblogging software ever, mainly because pivot has a lot of it's own CSS styles and trying to get the elements to format with what i had written was a pain in the ass.

my shoulder hurt and my eyes are blurry. fuck.

i changed my major this week, i'm now officially in the school of Computer Science. n34t. i'm still writing for the barometer, and i love it. my latest review is over here. it's not that great, partially due to the fact that i just didn't give a shit about the band. also, it was my editors favourite band, so i didn't want to bash it too hard. whatever. next week: courtney love's new one.

so, take a look around, i'm not 100% done, but most of everything should work. if you run into an error, let me know, cuz, like, there's a lot of files and there's only one of me.

muchlove to all.

I know that trends can get a little bit tricky to follow. i know that it's hard to keep up with the trends. It's especially difficult to remember all these radical new artists (often called "rappers" by cool kids [i know because a cool kid told me]). So, since i know lots and lots about the true/realist rap scene, i thought i'd drop the science in a segment i like to call "HOOKED-ON-HIP-HOP"

this week, we have Aftermath records. The record company itself is like a goldmine. lots of money to be made from selling the h4wth4wt new songs. It's tricky to remember who's hot and who's not, so i have devised a method to help you all:

think of it like a kingdom, the aftermath kingdom.

every kingdom has a king, and in aftermath kingdom's case, that would be Dr. Dre. He's not really a doctor, but he sure is a king when it comes to droppin' ill rhymes. He's pretty old, and i heard he has a throne made out of platinum records, again, my sources are pretty correct, the cool kids usually know the truth.

being a king is risky buisiness, and mr. dre knows to cover his ass from the haters. that's why he enlisted Lord Mathers, the feirce general known on the battlefield for his lionlike tenacity and voraciousness. He is the leader of a might pack of savage men called D12, who are capable of blowing your socks off your feet into your mouth.

FEAR THE D12

Mr. Dre is a smart man, but he's not capable of knowning everything, that's why he enlisted the powers of the powerful gypsy known as "eve." she has the uncanny ability to explain the future and peak into the hearts of men using magic/ sorcery ALL while dropping ill rhymes. MOUNT UP.

Eve can predict the future of the land of illrhymes, but Dr King Dre needs to be able to control things. things being his people, the weather, the temperature of his feet. That's why he keeps the magical magic wizard 50-CENT around. 50 cent is the prize of the land of aftermath. a powerfull wizard capable of slaying men with words and intense stares. He is also the commander of a fierce group of undead soldiers known as the mighty G-UNIT. i heard from that same friend that the g stands for "GODDAMNWEREAGREAT"

GGGG-UNIT

So, that's basically how aftermath records works. here's a quick rundown:

dre- king
eve- gypsy
mm- general
50- wizard.

now go out and impress your friends with your cool knowledge.

Dear Josh Homme,
Stop being a fucking dick, and get Nick and Mark back in the band. You are nothing without them and you know it. I know it. you know it. You wanna know something? Im glad. i hope Nick WILL NOT take you back, you perverted mother fucker. I hope that he works with Patton and the Jumpfighters you Fuck. What are you gonna do now? You can't perform 2/3rds of your songs now. What are you going to do now?
Ask yourself that question. Breaking up the band isn't an option. If you did that I would KILL MYSELF with a battering RAM. And if that doesnt work im going to shoot you with a spread gun, and then turn it on myself after i beat the game four times in a row without dying once. Period.
MUCH LUV
SLedg

Dear Nick Olivieri,
Please oh please, work things out with Josh. You can't leave Queens, and thats that. Queens isn't Queens without a bald guy with a beard that wears sweatpants. You can't go. No. Wait. Come back. I lost my virginity in the front row of a queens concert. UNDERSTAND?! Dont take that away from me. How are we gonna be able to hear "Millionaire" "Six Shooter" or "Quick and to the pointless" live ever again.
Ok, ok. Im sure you have your reasons. But I want you to know something.....
Just dont go. Work it out. You have the coolest bass guitar in the whole world, and i was growing my beard out just so i could be like you. There can't be Queens of the Stone Age without you, and if that means QOTSA is no more, im going to KILL MYSELF! UNDERSTAND?!
While you are at it talk Lanegan into coming back, cuz he kicks ass too. So here is how the band looks right now....
Homme-Van Leuwwen-Castillo
Now Im going to turn around and count to 112,233,444 and it better look like this...
Homme-Olivieri-Lanegan-Van Leuwwen-Castillo
UNDERSTAND?!
If that doesn't happen im hunting you down MOTHERFUCKER! Ive got fucking big ass boots on. Big ASS ones. Ones with asses. Big ones. Your goonna meet me.
Oh, Jumpfighters are looking for a bass player and we are radass.
Your Loving Fanboy,
SLEDG

8am, valentine's day, i will be in the air.  i will be flying over oceans, mountains, people to a land far far away.  i am flying into frankfurt, heading over to paris for the three days.  i'll hop the train to nice, stay there for three days, then hop another train down to rome for carnivale.

hell yes, there will be drinkage.  there will be party.  there will be madness.  after partying it up for mardi gras and carnivale, i'll hitch a plane up to baden baden, germany (that means bath, bath!) and spend a couple of days basking in the spas and baths there.

i might even be seeing PINK (the artist or lack thereof) in strasbourg, germany.  i would be unenthused, but it's europe and everything is exciting there.  i'll be back on february 29.  i would promise to post overseas, but frankly i don't know if i will.  sorry.  more important things to do.

sorry.

i love you all.

i'm tired of waiting for the hollywood ending. i'm tired of coming to the end of a scene only to realize that there's no feel-good finish. i want my turn to find someone who makes me happy. i don't want to be the third, or fifth, or ninth, or seventeenth wheel anymore. for once i don't want to fall asleep alone.

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Jus got back from eugene. Went to video tape the Eastern Sunz opening for Andre Nickitina at the McDonald Theatre. The show went interesting. Soound problems during the show and a hostile crowd that was more interested in hearing songs about coke. But, They warmed up to the sunz better than i expected, since the sunz are all about happiness and love, and nice things. At one point someone from the audience was yelling "Where are your ho's!?"

Soundcheck

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apparently there was some "unanticipated emergency" and because of it facilities has to shut off the hot water from 9am to 5pm. so, in spite of the fact that i don't have class until 1:00 today, i still had to get up at 8am to shower. blah.

my class load seems ridiculously light, but i know it's gonna catch up to me. i'm only taking 14 credits, but between writing for exop and anthro, and memorizing for actingII and spanish, plus learning choreography for the dance show, plus rehearsals for the spring play i'm going to be a little busy.

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something is missing.
taking time to sever the
ties, my wooden heart feels
nothing.
no regret.
no dillusion.
something is missing and
i feel more lacking today
than i ever have before.

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strangest thing:

went to a party, it was a silly pseudo-frat boy romp, cool guys, but nothing like a lazerbeams party. bunch of guys trying to score hot-poon with a keg of busch, silly. anyway, in the heat of the party, the host, my good friend since 2001, paul, decides to bust out his new guitar and show it to me.

he hasn't been playing for long, and thinks that i am some kind of 6-string guru. granted, i have been playing for awhile, but i think i am far from the "guru" status. anyway, he convinces me to play. i crank up his little piece of shit amp and start playing. i'm not really at the top of my guitar playing game, you must understand.

anywho, a couple of minutes go by, i wrap up my song (paganini's 5th [distorted to all hell, of course]) and look up.

the room is packed and everyone seems awestruck. it was so fucking weird. some kid yelled "play some AC/DC!" and i quickly put the guitar away.

but seriously, how weird is that? i'm definitely not the best guitar player, but all the drunk kids there thought i was some sort of shred master. it was so bizzare.

i guess you had to be there.